Ethan

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

Kyle Gordon is not Weird Al I do not support him, none of it is funny

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

@e_crain_21 Ethan Crain

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

New York City?

[sigmund foid @intentionalisms]

I’m trying to come up with an american equivalent to the Goianistão and I’m realizing that I can’t. Imagine a place with a concentration of wealth, power and misanthropy of the Bay Area; now imagine it had the literacy rates of West Virginia and the racial politics of Mississippi. And now imagine its newfound wealth results in a massive influx of a music genre I can only describe as “Taylor Swift for men”.

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

@thamosdeaf if you say so

[Alex "Tropical" Forrest 🚉🌴 @380kmh]

Rather, a Byzantium to some future Boston's Rome

[Future Moldovan Citizen Fan @CommonSentiment]

Got bored and did a stand up set in some absolute garbage faggot shithole bar in Bushwick tonight. When I “went up” I could already tell how it would go. Crowd was like 15 millennial losers and a smattering of retard euro tourists, who looked confused and nervous. Guy before me did 7 minutes on how White people are cringe and transfreaks are valid.
I opened with a bit on asian pussy.
I was drunk.
Some fat pig woman in the crowd immediately started to hiss at me so I called her a “malignant cunt”. She tried causing a scene but I just powered through with a bit about black girl pussies being purple.
I was wearing a seersucker suit.
The fat pig cunt was screaming in anger and one of the retard euro tourists was pretending to laugh not understanding my English when I started comparing horse pussy to black girl snatch. Some obese mexican asshole bouncer roped me up and through me outside on the sidewalk and I just layed there, who cares at that point.
After about ten minutes I got up and went to the train to go home and some black homeless trash screamed faggot in my face the whole ride and now I’m back in my shitty apartment and I guess I gotta get my seersucker suit dry cleaned.
When you live in the big city you gotta get out sometimes, try stuff, otherwise, just stay in Sheboygan.

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

@MattZeitlin He’s the Drake of his era

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

Canada has swag off the charts rn

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

@chantaldykerman I found Pygmalion pretty annoying

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

The word crap will set you free

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

Boston is the last smart city in America.

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

What would happen to the aquariums in a great war?

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

@NYC_DOT fuck you

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

got a cup that plugs in from the yankee swap

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

Just realized my cat doesn’t really know anything about music at all

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

@sethmpk meh

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

mad men is america’s anna karenina

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

@Sturgeons_Law youve been sayin this for a while but i bet you’ll kinda fw the movie even though its gonna suck

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

They want you to put fucking paste on your teeth

[Ethan @ethancrain777]

I dont really relate to the number 4