Ethan Whitaker

Born in the Amazon. Gaming, snowboarding, movies, math.

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

When I grow up, I want a loving family, a big house, lots of money, and strong muscles. #futureplans

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Wait... do zombies go to Heaven? #zombies

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

We're all on the Earth and the Earth is spinning, so maybe we're dizzy and we don't even know it.

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Don't eat so many pop tarts, 'cause they turn into pop farts.

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Freckles, moles, zits, pimples, or diabetes. Which is the worst? #rankings

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

I bet Yuki Noguchi likes blue cheese. Yuki Noguchi does the hoochie coochie. #yukinoguchi

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Why do cats think that they’re so important? #cats #goodquestion

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

If I wasn't a human, do you know what I'd be? A bird. You know why? Because you get to sit on clouds, and poop wherever you want. #poo #freedom #birds

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Without magic, Santa is just a 1000 year old man. #santa #truefacts

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Mother Earth and the Lord are mostly married. Because She is queen of the earth and He is king of the world. Right? #big picture #good questions

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

The thinner the taller, the fatter the smaller. #observations #morphology

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Dad, I need to know for real, do love potions exist? I need one. She broke up with me in pre-school, and I want her back. #lovepotions

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

And by the way, God is not special. #heresies #kindanihilist

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Well, then you shouldn't have left me unsupervised with a hammer. #rationalizations

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

You can't stop me from watching TV in my mind. #loopholes #defiance

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Riding a bike, check. Swimming, check. Snapping fingers, check. Now I just need to learn how to whistle. #skills

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

So, like, where did the monkeys first come from? Did Adam and Eve have monkey babies? #goodquestion #evolution #monkeybabies

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

We're going to shave the big fat world... we're shaving the world, for peace. #shaving

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

What's stronger, fire or lava? Whales or sharks? A giraffe or a knife? #goodquestions

[Ethan Whitaker @ethanmavrick]

Today we will do the kissing. #kissingday