Printers never work because they are an affront to God. Man was not meant to pull objects from the digital realm into the real world. Icarus is flying too close to the sun.
Language shapes our corporate reality, which is why casual phrases can be so dangerous.
I overheard our IT guy tell our VP of Marketing "no problem" after fixing his monitor.
I immediately asked the IT guy to step into my office.
I asked him why he felt the need to introduce the concept of a "problem" into a successful resolution.
He said it's just a normal thing people say when someone says thank you.
I explained that "no problem" implies the task could've been a burden, which undermines our culture of joyful servitude.
He asked if he should just say "you're welcome" instead.
I told him "you're welcome" assumes an uneven power dynamic.
I mandated he use a standard reply of: "I'm honored to be of service to the company"
I went back to my desk and whispered to myself:
𝐼'𝓂 𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑜𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝒾𝒸𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓅𝒶𝓃𝓎
I was told today by a 17-year-old that there was no way people were writing 10 page papers without Al.
Dude, I was writing 10 page papers without having read the book.