ethan

[ethan @ethansparkes]

It’s absolutely hilarious that older people warned us when we were younger to “not believe everything we see on the internet” and now they’re the ones doing outraged Facebook posts on click bait articles because they believe everything they’ve read on the internet.

[ethan @ethansparkes]

@robpizzola Do you see any value is Giants winning the NFC east at +800?

[Chris Black @donetodeath]

"A vacation is not, or at least shouldn’t be, a to-do list, something to be optimized with meticulously timed reservations months in advance, though increasingly this is what travel is" — https://t.co/ZeHOx4xdSF

[ethan @ethansparkes]

@Dr_TacoMD Tag him! Tag mr. black!

[ethan @ethansparkes]

@PeteBlackburn @TomatoFights Do I just search “Tomato Fights” on Apple podcasts? Can’t seem to find this main feed

[ethan @ethansparkes]

What are you most excited for when the vaccine drops

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Kanye knew, he knew the whole time

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Ummm

[ethan @ethansparkes]

People posting turkey on their plate without gravy or cranberry sauce on it? Are u thankful for choking to death? How do u swallow that

[ethan @ethansparkes]

My girlfriend loading cups into the dishwasher space that plates are supposed to go

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Can someone let me know who decided the traditional working day is 8 hours long so that I can bop them on the nose and tell them they did bad

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Kawhi just got embarrassed by a 23 year old from Kitchener LMAO

[Tawana @Tiniwana]

It’s too clear to not repost https://t.co/2bRNaQmewD

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Remember in like grade 5 when we learned about Mesopotamia and then never spoke about it again for the rest of our lives

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Thank god for the people that repost a barstool or complex post to their Instagram story because surely no one else follows that account to see for themselves

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Me when this Corn n Teen ends

[ethan @ethansparkes]

@GoGetta_Q Cook that shit up Q!

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Hardest part of quarantine is not being able to go tuck my homies in at night 😔

[ethan @ethansparkes]

@SebJackson90 My gf has 3 weeks off and I have a job that I can do from home. Except I’m more open to being the one with 3 weeks off and she wants to be able to work. It’ll be interesting to see if our opinions switch near the end of the 3 weeks..

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Imagine risking it all for a tip of $1.17 from a frat house that split the tip 4 ways over e-transfer 🥺

[ethan @ethansparkes]

Today on my drive home from work, 3 lanes of traffic had to come to a screeching stop because a dominoes pizza car was driving down a one-way the WRONG WAY with its 4 ways on. It swerved through 2 cars, threw on a left blinker and pulled into a driveway to deliver a pizza.

[ethan @ethansparkes]

When the automatic toilet flushes early and provides complimentary bidet services >>>