Eva Assalti Pearson

womb with a view. My views are my own.
My political twitter handle is: @ElectEvaPearson

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

Haven’t used this twitter handle since March of 2020…so, has anything interesting happened in the past 2 years?

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

@GOP Yeah, we've all been working from home for two years. Who cares.

[Jake Miller @JakeMillerEdu]

Quickly create vocab lists for #ForeignLanguage classes or for #ESL/#ELL students! #GoogleSheets + #GoogleTranslate = Whoa! #edtechchat @GoogleForEdu @gsuite @googledrive #Chromebooks #DitchBook #EduGIFs https://t.co/pZvBOA43na

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

Told my 11 year old we had to leave in 15 minute & it’s time to get shoes on so of course he said “Ok!” & then promptly starting playing his drums without shoes on. So I guess what I’m saying is: good luck to whomever he marries...I tried
#teenagers #Thanksgiving #Boys #MomofBoys

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

My 12 year old son just walked in on me naked while I was getting dressed so it’s safe to say he’ll have “therapy” on his Christmas list.

#Thanksgiving #parenting #ChristmasList #teenager

[Un Poco Loco 🇦🇬 @Bexyful]

Am I the most attractive woman out there ? Of course not. But do I have a good personality ? Well, no. But do I wake up every day and try to be the best person that I can be ? Also no.

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

@SEM_Dalers we’re ready for crazy hat day!

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

(Going over math homework with Z)
Me: Did they teach you PEMDAS?
Z (10): No, they teach us STEM.

#ZacAttack #KingOfTheOneLiners
#Parenting #STEM #homework #PEMDAS

[Dad is Teaching 👨‍🏫 @DadisGrumpy]

Miracle in Costco:

Judgemental lady: Ugh. Are you buying FORMULA so you can drink all that WINE?

*Looks at crying twins, stacks of groceries, and sleep deprived tearful wife*

Me: I...

Random stranger: *to me* I got this, bro. *To her* Go fuck yourself.

#faithrestored

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

YAS QUEEN! (Literally) https://t.co/eVa1nEMJtN

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

@SpeakerRyan @SamsPressShop GUN CONTROL.

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

Oprah, Michelle, Chimamanda, Kamala, Shonda, Lupita.
Someone please just hand them the keys while the rest of us just get in line to await further instruction.
#WednesdayWisdom

@Oprah, @MichelleObama, @AdichieSpeaks @KamalaHarris @shondarhimes @Lupita_Nyongo

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

@MattHynes4 Depends on the time of day.

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

For the past 2 nights I've gone to sleep at 11pm after doing statistics homework only to wake up at 630am to do more statistics homework so it's safe to say that the probability that I still know how to party at 46 years old is significantly high
#Phd #Statistics #ImShowingMyAge

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

My happy hours have been replaced by coffee hours.

#coffee #morning

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

@jeremy_jamrozy best of luck to you. People care!

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

Me: “Z, are you going to eat your string cheese?”
Z (9): “No. It’s not Polly-O.”

@kraftcheese
#ItalianKid #ZacAttack #KingOfTheOneLiners

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

I'm 3639 words into a 4000 word report that's due tomorrow and I'm real close to just writing IDGAF 361 times.

#PhD #arewethereyet?

[Eva Assalti Pearson @eva_says]

(walks in on sons, ages 9 & 10, wrestling when they should be practicing their instruments)
J (10): Quick! Pretend we're hugging so she doesn't yell at us!

#parenting