evan.

lieutenant dumbass reporting for duty

[Sam Rudykoff @SamRudykoff]

I can’t even remember what the world is supposed to be like

[Velodus✨ @velodus]

This is why the Minnesota Timberwolves need a ballroom. None of this would've happened if they'd had a ballroom.

[m. stanfield @resetbasis]

If you told a Boston plumber you were going to be his "AI guy" and charge him 2-3k per month, he would beat the shit out of you with a pipe wrench.

Don't take trades advice from software people.

[evan. @evanthebot]

too big

[Curiosity @CuriosityonX]

NASA released this insane video showing how huge known black holes are.

[evan. @evanthebot]

personally I do think they should have killed the grinch

[evan. @evanthebot]

when I pull in that 2005 LL Bean Edition Subaru Outback and your girl starts acting different, THATS NOT MY PROBLEM

[Jeremy Peterman𓅪 @SportsGuyJeremy]

They sent the feds into Portland and they've only been able to get Chauncey Billups 😭😭

[✧ thic fig tattoo✧ @thicfigtattoo]

not included:

- owner asked if he could put the dog in the bathroom before getting his wallet bc it could sometimes be aggressive to strangers.
- wouldn’t let the family render aid after shooting the dog.
- raid was conducted based on info 2 years old, and of the PREVIOUS renter of the residence.
- agent fled the scene before being identified.

just flat out evil.

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

democrats losing on the biggest human rights issue of our time to this absolute maniac because they’re so deep in the pockets of israel is beyond embarrassing

[punished giorgio @GMomurder]

Still one of the funniest “what a 12 year old thinks is cool” videos of all time

[nick @nickhawkss]

This literally set up the double play that got you out of the inning and didn’t help the Mariners in the slightest. LMFAO

[evan. @evanthebot]

14th inning stretch

[evan. @evanthebot]

if you really think about it Josh Gordon is the Anakin Skywalker of the the NFL. if they would’ve just let him smoke weed- just like if the jedi council would’ve let Anakin have sex with his girlfriend- we’d be looking at Randy Moss 2.0

[evan. @evanthebot]

offline boyfriend gives his girlfriend’s labubu to the dog 💔

[evan. @evanthebot]

TJ from love island is just sentient can of zyns

[evan. @evanthebot]

I bet Noah Kahan sounds so good if you have a pine tree tattoo

[evan. @evanthebot]

let my vote for nyc mayor I’ve been there like three times and I really liked it and andrew cuomo is a fucking DWEEB

[evan. @evanthebot]

listed for $12 got it for $9 stop fucking playing with me dog

[evan. @evanthebot]

maturing is calling it a night after 5 light beers and lowballing people on ebay

[evan. @evanthebot]

@Davee_O_ @NBAonTNT don’t talk to me or my gay little dog ever again

[evan. @evanthebot]

back on this god forsaken app just to watch @NBAonTNT clips