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SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH

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I didn't ask to have "careless whisper" stuck in my head as I prepared for my chem final this morning, but it is a burden I shall bear with quiet dignity.

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I love working with these people but they're running out of chances to spell my name right

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Just bought some grape soda bc I forgot how it tastes and I haven't felt so disappointed in a soft drink since that stupid Pepsi ad

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@factaurial Download? I've been tweeting thru chrome this whole time

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Thoughts on this app?

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Gotta tweet a ton in the next 25 hours bc after that my data plan ends and my dad has twitter blocked on our WiFi lol

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Thinking about the tweet I send out every once in a while and delete within 5 min bc it's too edgy

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If I stop tweeting it's not because I ran out of good content. I ran out of good content last December

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@hankrsmith

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Product design intern at Nature Made: "Okay, so these are men's and women's multivitamins, we're just going to call them 'men's multi' and 'women's multi', right?"

The designer training them: "Yeah, that's passable, but you forgot to make it sound weirdly intimate."

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Good news! Some customer told me the pandemic is over.

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@MichaeldayahPt Don't we all?

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Ok which one do you think was the stunt double

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My life is a lie

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The only DnD I play at night is the DO NOT DISTURB mode on my phone because SLEEP is the main quest in my life 😤😤✊

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Also, I've never played DnD. Kinda want to though now. Anyone want to play it with me all night tonight?

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THREAD: Ok so I was helping a woman at the work and she did something mildly inconvenient for me. I must have sighed or something (those masks are kinda suffocating and make me sleepy) and she probably thought I was getting impatient so she apologized for the trouble. (1/?)

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First of all, I don't need the advice? When you realized you needed to pee right after you payed for your stuff I didn't say "you should have gone right when you entered the store" or "maybe don't drink so much water before going shopping". I treated you like an adult.

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Are girls still into bad boys? Because I just peeled off a To Be Removed By Occupant Only sticker from my toilet, even though I don't live in it 😏😈