Evan Hoge

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

I yelled at @JordanHoge for buying a bulk size box of 48 Pop Tarts... and then I ate a family size bag of Hot Cheetos for lunch. #wearehealth

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

@itsjessicabraun Watching Vlogmas Day 20 and Pinocchio is killing me. He’s so cute and pitiful. Especially with his little coat on. Had to tweet you since comments are turned off 😂

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

Teacher: “Does anyone know what distance means?”

2nd grader: “6 feet apart!!”

#2020

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

2020 has been a bust because y’all think Crocs are fashion.

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

As a student, I loved the book fair. As a teacher, the book fair is muy molesta (very annoying).

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

How do I convince the cities of Huntsville and/or Chattanooga to open a Trader Joe’s? 🙏🏼

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

What is a sensory feeling that bothers you?
(One of) mine is the feeling of my ears being wet.

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

I confess—I have spent the last hour (or more) watching #FrozenII press interviews.

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

The looks of disgust on my fourth graders faces when I told them I have an iPhone 6.. 😂

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

Another day, another group of 10 yr olds questioning my age...

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

How are you procrastinating today?

I’ve spent 30 min. looking at pressure washing before and after pics.

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

Fitting in children’s clothing as an adult
Positive: lower prices

Negative: the brand logo is all over everything and everyone will know that you’re dressed like a toddler

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

@JordanHoge You’re off your rocker.

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

I just want to sing like Tori Kelly. Is that too much to ask?

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

@Con_Hoff 😔

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

@audtaycar2

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

I can’t wait to have kids so I can live vicariously through the dinosaur paraphernalia that I’m going to force on them. 🦕

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

Getting old is recognizing how quickly the months go by based on how often you have to refill your prescription meds.

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

@hellocone Aren’t they, though? I’m not trying to pay $200 for some clodhoppers, but these knees have seen better days, so I have no choice...

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

Why are running shoes as ugly as they are expensive?

[Evan Hoge @evhoge]

Living in the country is constantly questioning if the animal in someone’s front yard is real or a statue.