Evan Miller

That’s a horrible idea... what time?

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

Dear @Verizon please get your shit together. Thank you got coming to my TED talk

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

“I’ll be with you as soon as I can, we’re short handed”
“That’s okay, I support amputees”

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

If I choke and die, it better be on an Arizona egg roll from chilis #welcometochilis

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

I miss serving tables, where else am I able to shake my ass for $2.13 an hour? #donefortoday #Iquit #EightySix

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

INSANE that I tweet, and not even 5 minutes later it’s fixed #ISitCorrected

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

Sitting at your computer working at 1 am, and suddenly the internet goes out, not a big deal, having the internet go out 3 times in 6 days, thanks @GetSpectrum #DoBetter #GetItTogether

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

I hate when I’m in the bathroom at work and someone comes and knocks on the door. I locked the door, just pull on the handle.

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

Most kids try and make friends, Caden just tries to growl at everyone…

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

It’s all fun and games until you find out your parents safe word

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

@ColleenB123 The comfy in black

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

@ThatGirlTimber She drowned during bath time

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

@Out5p0ken @spiritofanu @Jinxy_Minxy He made a statement within hours of the bombing, and yet nobody listened because they are too busy supporting a racist and his race traitor running mate. #Trump2020 #ShameOnYou

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

My life dream is to one day be the person at the end of an episode of Jerry Springer and say “we’ll be right back with Jerry’s final thought”

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

@whatsinside Gotta love it when @realDonaldTrump does what he says he’s gonna do to help us reopen our economy, and get our kids back into class. #OperationWarpSpeed

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

@kpolleypocket You just have to COME HOME

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

Really wish @kpolleypocket was home so she could get sushi with me. Also, if anyone wants to get sushi, let me know

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

@kpolleypocket When you come home, we can get sushi

[Amanda @mandakellen]

We need a talking stick. A big, sparkly, foam stick that kindergarteners use to learn how to take turns when talking. #Debates2020

[Candace Owens @RealCandaceO]

Everyone be honest.

Not a single American mind was changed tonight.
Needle was not moved in either direction.

#PresidentialDebate #Debate2020

[Evan Miller @evmiller96]

@seywarddarby Pictures of the rattlesnake ran office