Slime Queen

Schiaparelli taste on a Whataburger budget. Joey Ramone stan account.

[Slime Queen @excake]

Yeah I’m a fan of ABBA
Ass
Butt
Butt
Ass

[Slime Queen @excake]

this is killing me rn

[Pastor Kyle. @itsqail]

“Winter is literally the best season” ok u fucking husky go sit outside then

[poppa @popitforpoppa]

do kids even get chased by dogs anymore? this generation don’t go thru shit

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

When the shit goes down everybody meet up at the library. The MAGAs don't know about that place

[Slime Queen @excake]

Psychiatrists and therapists won't diagnose me with ADHD but the internet has me pegged-- WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE

[Slime Queen @excake]

The only thing that's gotten better as I've gotten older is my ability to neglect the darker side of my personality. The dark dark side I don't tell anyone about except in a cryptic tweet every 5 years.

[Slime Queen @excake]

I was so prepared to have no will whatsoever, and somehow I've had a pretty decent week mood-wise. Of course, that must mean the other shoe is hovering in February

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

they should invent a january that doesn’t drain your will to live

[Slime Queen @excake]

I'd rather be a fucking cockroach

[Dylan O'Sullivan @DylanoA4]

— Franz Kafka, 1912

[Slime Queen @excake]

@MikeMacRaeMike (my toothbrush is currently on hiatus)

[Slime Queen @excake]

Dude, I swear my vision improves under the influence of delta 9. I'm Brad Pitt transformed by Tom Cruise's blood in Interview with the Vampire. Statues have EYES, man

[Slime Queen @excake]

@MikeMacRaeMike another one of your tweets that stuck with me is about girl scout thin mints and having to go back to brushing your teeth when girl scout cookie season is over

[Slime Queen @excake]

@MikeMacRaeMike hell yeah!

[Slime Queen @excake]

(because then I'm too aware of my new abilities and need to keep them hidden)

[Slime Queen @excake]

...but only when I'm on my own, late at night, when no one else is awake. The presence of another human nullifies my delta 9 powers.

[Slime Queen @excake]

@ItsMaddieMoYo @greetinghimeros I am so sorry. I am so very sorry.

[Slime Queen @excake]

Always a good reminder. A coworker who had cancer was the first person I heard this from and I'm glad to know this now.

[Up Next @upnextdesigner]

This look is called the ‘Trinity Coat’, named after Trinity from Matrix. It capsules the moment when she fell off the building during the fight shatter glasses in slow motion 🖤

[Slime Queen @excake]

@MarieZuri @WhitneyChanell A mi gallopinto no le pasa nada, punto

[Slime Queen @excake]

@kkaitthty @WhitneyChanell Same with Nicaraguan food. Any time my mom visits she leaves the food she cooked on the stove for a long time before storing.