Alastair McWhirter

Former dustman, teacher, police officer, health service person and foster carer and now a professional grandparent! “They lied, thousands died.”

[squeaky fromme the block @averpee]

Gyno and dentist appointments on the same day #spitroast

[Mike Scott @IrkthePurists]

Good that he carried on writing after he died.

[Alastair McWhirter @exexexexcc]

@bartacusthe1st @MrsBarney @bmay And let’s not forget the plagiarism of Somerset Maugham’s‘s stories.

[James Blunt @JamesBlunt]

New single "Circles". Out now.

[Tommy Vietor @TVietor08]

Hahahahahah

[1990sUtd @1990sUtd]

Marvellous edit 😅

[Paul Bronks @SlenderSherbet]

"WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY"

[Encyclopaedia Britannica @Britannica]

We...worked on this story for a year...and...they just...they tweeted it out.

[Alastair McWhirter @exexexexcc]

@SDetectorist @MurloGreen Whiskey bottle – I think it was John Haig

[Alastair McWhirter @exexexexcc]

@MurloGreen @SDetectorist My wife’s grandmother did that for her. Saturday the bottle got broken in a move. We’ve still got all the expenses though! Hard to know what to do with them now.

[Alastair McWhirter @exexexexcc]

@JohnJCrace When I was working for Wiltshire Constab our fundraiser for a charity we ran (providing free security locks, smoke alarms etc to the elderly) wrote to him, a local resident, as, "Dear Mr Sting" We rather ridiculed him - but Mr Sting sent us £500!

[Alastair McWhirter @exexexexcc]

@ZoeJardiniere While I applaud your sentiments entirely: they drive me mad too. What in Hell’s name is a muffler? I thought that in UK English that was something you wore when it was cold!

[RSM #NAFO fellas @Rod_dk]

I am not religious at all, but I like the reply here very much all the same

[Alastair McWhirter @exexexexcc]

@lib_thinks @GuidoFawkes @SarahDuggers Yes, but you can also join for nothing!

[The Exploding Heads @Exploding_Heads]

STOP THE NOTES 💵

[Headshok1962 @Headshok1962]

Funny as hell, to those of us that get it

[Larry the Cat @Number10cat]

That's a surprise coming from an orange man...

[Alastair McWhirter @exexexexcc]

@Bbmorg We bought Christmas cards!

[Alastair McWhirter @exexexexcc]

@isobel_maddison

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

According to Noël Coward: A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin, then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

[Lucas Sanders 👊🏽🔥🇺🇸 @LucasSa56947288]

🚨JUST IN: The protesters have gathered in Dublin to protest Donald Trump’s visit to Ireland, with demonstrators using imagery featuring Trump, Epstein and Netanyahu to voice their criticism.

I love this! 👏🏽

Shoutout to the people of Ireland! 🇮🇪