Calla

lactose tolerant

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Mark Twain is Shania Twain’s husband, right?

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Shauna shipman after hunting Mari and keeping everyone stuck in the wilderness for another winter

[Out of Context Human Race @NoContextHumans]

Just your average Scandinavian woman😂

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Treating it like a gender reveal every time I ask my bi friends if the new person they’re seeing is a guy or girl

[Calla @existentialbirb]

If someone wanted to get me that graza drizzling olive oil for my half birthday I’d really appreciate it. It’s May third.

[ErykahBadoula @fatbellybella]

Just vandalized my own Tesla.
Trying to stay on trend.

[Calla @existentialbirb]

@CurtsWorld96 If I don’t watch this video at least two times a week I enter a deep depression

[Calla @existentialbirb]

@wayatatatat Also I was at the dentist…

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Yall imagine if I went to dental school. Wtf

[Calla @existentialbirb]

@wayatatatat Free will

[꩜ ⥉ 𝐣𝐞𝐰𝐞𝐥 ꩜ ⥉ moved accts! @apollodotorg]

drama was REAL tea. i almost couldn’t believe what i was reading

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Crazy time for Lizzo to hard launch being a lefty

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Really craving for my nasal passages to be assaulted by a LUSH right now. Closest one is in Mexico City, 39hr drive for a bath bomb, I’ve done more

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Why was I expecting them to start making out…

[industry s5 awards campaign manager 🍉 @itweetabttv]

the moment his look alike realized the actual timothee showed up is one for the books

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Typically I think I am pretty good at assessing someone’s character but I have a hard time gettting a reading on a hot person because the primary thing I am picking up on is that I’m attracted to them

[dan the rock yang @realDANYANG]

So many babies are gonna be adopted tonight

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Genuinely fuck British people. Never have I ever actually enjoyed the presence of a single Brit I’ve met.

[anna nicole spliff @hotgirlstutter]

he’s so cool i wish i could support him in a way that doesn’t involve listening to his music 💔

[Calla @existentialbirb]

@blumenfeld *worse* things in the world. Stay sharp blumenfeld

[amir @blumenfeld]

Did you hear Trump say “in four years we’ll have it fixed, you’re not gonna have to vote again?”

— oh like in a leaked memo? I never trust those.

No he screamed it at a bunch of people on TV:

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Can a girl wear green pants and a black tank top without being called Kim possible? Is that too much to ask for???

[Calla @existentialbirb]

Just perfectly parallel parked on my first try. No one can tell me shit today.