The Expert Beginner

Former dev was so inspired by my custom utils framework that he wrote a biography about me : I'll read it someday.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

It's about time my custom build reflection framework started getting the attention and praise it deserves.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

@Bob1German @LuiseFreese I'm too busy having opinions to bother knowing enough.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

Since any for loop can be a while loop, I've implemented a coding standard where only while loops are permitted, so as to keep things simple. And don't even get me started on foreach.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

Protip: if you want to make, hands down, the most stable APIs, make every parameter and return value an object.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

For those of you wondering why I haven't tweeted in so long, I think the reason should be obvious to everyone:

A Twitter bug was preventing all of the tweets I definitely, actually wrote from going live.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

I'll let y'all in on a little pro-tip:

When someone stumps you with buzzword X that you don't know, just counter with "well, we actually have more of an X pipeline."

You immediately win the argument.

Go ahead, try it with anything you want: agile, DevOps, lean

You're welcome.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

I'm a big believer in "under-promise and over-deliver."

Like, take yesterday. I told the team I wanted a 15 minute meeting to lecture everyone about our coding standard. But then I over-delivered on the meeting by 2 hours, taking us right through lunch.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

Sorry for the lapse in Tweets of late. I've been crazy busy for the last month supervising the merge phase after an entire year's worth of everyone developing their features. We've finally got it compiling!

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

Everyone below me in the pecking order can be explained by merit. Everyone above me by the Dilbert Principle.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

Welp, I just learned a new design pattern. So I think we all know that I'm about to golden hammer every one of you to death with it.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

"Well actually" and "You know, technically" are my love language.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

Why do people talk about code complexity like it's a bad thing? I mean, how would you rather someone describe _you_ -- as "simple" or as "complex?"

QED

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

Tabs vs spaces? Why the false dichotomy? I like to mix it up a little -- variety is the spice of life.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

I honestly don't mind commits that break the build. I just think, "they'll figure out what I was trying to do and fix it."

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

I'm tired of hearing about our "suboptimal code in tight loops" and "algorithm runtimes."

My algorithm is O(shut the &$#% up), kid.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

When people talk about ways to reduce cylcomatic complexity, I find that goto and break statements are badly underused.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

If there's any way we can even semi-plausibly couch this issue as user error, you better believe we're going to lean all the way into that and milk it for everything it's worth.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

The best part about our upcoming migration to the cloud is that application memory leaks really don't matter anymore.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

If sprawling methods and powerful God classes are wrong, I don't want to be right.

[Bob Bedard @bobonthenet]

@ExpertBeginner1 Um, if your method is thousands of lines long you are probably doing it wrong.

[The Expert Beginner @ExpertBeginner1]

Declaring variables close to where you use them is fine in toy applications, but in real life, where methods are thousands of lines long, declarations go at the top of the method in their own region, like a table of contents.