bart nickerson

I write telescripts: THE ORIGINALS, NARCOS, DISPATCHES FROM ELSEWHERE.

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

@jillpruetz whoa. Do they move in open savanna or stick to the brushier parts? Also, did they find anything?

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

@jillpruetz do western chimpanzees conduct border patrols?

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

Things I hate:

1) Colons
2) Lists
3) Third things

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

90% of things are actually other things.

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

There are two ways we can do this: the easy way, and the I lay on the couch and don't help way.

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

The second musical instrument is a lot easier to let sit in the corner untouched.

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

The biggest impact of technology on media is easily the loss of gags where someone eats corn on the cob like a typewriter.

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

"I hate to rain on your parade, I've just never been to one before." -- Ralph from the musical The Rain Cloud Who Loved Parades.

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

Meatloaf is the Neo of food, the rounding error that allows the system to function.

[bart nickerson @explodedpiano]

Maybe music helps plants grow faster because they're trying to turn it off.