Mary Stewart

To tweet or not to tweet

[CACH Feeder @CACHFeeder]

Congratulations 🎉 to Preston Stewart on your🏌️‍♂️⛳️retirement 🥳! Thank you for 36 years of dedicated service, and for helping “Drive Our Success” since 1988! Godspeed Preston. #proudupsers @UPSers #Huzzah #retirement

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN INDICTED BY THE MANHATTAN DA

pop those champagne corks, buckos

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

first they came for Donald Trump, and I did not speak out— because I was laughing so hard I couldn't catch my breath

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

and now let's go live to Melania Trump, for her reaction to Donald Trump being indicted by the Manhattan Grand Jury

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

live your life in such a way that the entire world isn't dancing in the streets right now because you just got fucking indicted

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

@realDonaldTrump ideally, you want the President of the United States, the Mayor of Crazytown and the village idiot to be three different people

[Acyn @Acyn]

Durbin is done listening to Cruz

[Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich]

hey everyone, the green-card trophy wife who married our president for his money, recoils at his touch, never smiles in his presence, refuses to share his bed, and sits in her room counting every second until she becomes a widow wants you to know that she's the real victim here

[Arnold Schwarzenegger @Schwarzenegger]

My message to my fellow Americans and friends around the world following this week's attack on the Capitol.

[Patrick Kane @88PKane]

PTKIII
11/12/2020

[IDPH | Illinois Department of Public Health @IDPH]

For the next 3 weeks, IDPH recommends staying home as much as possible and only going out when needed - groceries, pharmacy, if you can't work from home, and other essential errands.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Gonna watch this on a loop

[Paula Poundstone @paulapoundstone]

Can I sue Trump for the mental health problems he has caused me?

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

I spent the afternoon attending briefings on the ongoing COVID-19 crisis and the state of the economy. Tune in as I provide an update on these briefings and efforts to count every vote.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

hahahahahaha holy shit HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Meredith Salenger @MeredthSalenger]

Deep breath.
Think of Joe and Kamala on inauguration night holding their hands up with their spouses and beautiful balloons dropping from the ceiling and great music playing! And a joyous America and world!!!! Obama hugs joe. And we all get back to work. 💙🇺🇸💙#BidenHarris2020

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Please watch this 10 million times. #Debates2020

[Shedd Aquarium @shedd_aquarium]

Penguins in the Amazon?! 🐧🌴

Some of the penguins went on a field trip to meet other animals at Shedd. Wellington seemed most interested in the fishes in Amazon Rising! The black-barred silver dollars also seemed interested in their unusual visitor.