Nando

World call em opps.. I call em retards

[🕷️ @rtzvv]

feeling like this little dog rn

[ink @desi0re]

ngga coooked fr 😭

[Mikael @michaelpengson]

from kissing like this to becoming complete strangers is one thing adulthood didn’t prepare me for

[AtnsMDX @AtnsXBT]

2017. after a big breakup from a 2 year relationship, i got on a plane alone to limassol, cyprus, for 3 days.

each night i sat at the same fish restaurant next to the sea. a pack of cigarettes, some fried calamari, a greek salad, and a cold beer. that's what i needed.

i watched people come and go. nobody was looking for me. nobody was waiting for me. nobody knew me. just me, the sea, and a pack of cigarettes.

after each meal i'd get ice cream from the shop next door. peanut flavor. and i'd walk along the sea, breathing fresh air.

me and my thoughts, figuring each other out again

[⋆ @lowkeyalbert]

me taking one last look at her before i walk out for her life for good because her actions keep proving that she genuinely does not respect or cherish my ass…

[Mads @europemaxxed]

bumming a cigarette when you're drunk on a night out

[Mads @europemaxxed]

“any valentine’s day plans?”
yeah bro:

[sexiest in the world @HossMatch]

What if I shot this nigga in the dome

[Today’s Tom Sawyer @TommyFaceOnFire]

My ex prevented me from leaving the house on several occasions by physically blocking my exit, even going so far as to sit on the ground behind my car as I tried to back out of the garage. She repeatedly threatened to have me arrested if I used any degree of physical force to get past here. I was a cop at the time and was not going to risk it. I also didn’t want to call for help for fear of being perceived as weak.

For that last reason I doubt we’ll ever have anything approaching accurate numbers on this.

[sgp @stogolp]

https://t.co/tKQANaDtLP

[Mads @europemaxxed]

i wake up and my throat didn't pass the swallow test so i know i'm cooked for a couple days

[$tu. 💎 | Diamond Mag @_OgStu]

Man you’re so cool

[👽 @awwheyuu]

one day your boyfriend went out looking for hoes & he found you

[NRM84 @Mappy6984]

Awwww

[princess @princxssmaddie]

Being the situationship after someone’s long term relationship

[🦅 @JayZ0verrat3d]

could tell when a nigga alternator just went out

[KenHeLive @KenHeLive]

This is the funniest tweet of all time.