lana phembot

optimum points princess

[lana phembot @face16]

I think I'm goin to name my daughter Elle cause its the same forwards as it is backwards, so she wont be in for a surprise at age 12 #thxmom

[ًً @bunofakind]

beautiful woman named Environmental Canada keeps blowing up my phone

[Ahmed Hany @Doolittleraidd]

why pilates is pronounced that way and pirates not

[Chris @citehchris]

you have met me at a very norwegian time in my life

[MELLY SUPREME @DIGWOMANNN]

okay so it turns out I was never prepared for the possibility of a Mike White boot episode #survivor

[taoki @justalexoki]

international women's day only being 23 hours is objectively funny

[lana phembot @face16]

what else am I supposed to do rn

[lana phembot @face16]

should i

[lana phembot @face16]

are they liking my posts out of
irony bc it’s April fools day :( kinda fucked up tbh

[j*sh o’conn*r propagandist @SPLENDOR1999]

sorry to the cvs worker for making it awkward when i asked you where the contact solution was and you said i don’t know and started briskly walking around i didn’t realize you were running away from me for multiple aisles i thought you were gonna help me look 💔

[DrewFrog @DrewFrogger]

the dog is the only one who seems to know that’s a fuckin bobcat

[amelia elizalde @ameliaelizalde]

the name Gracie Abrams sounds like a girl who gets kicked in the head by a horse and all the teachers make you sign a big card

[lana phembot @face16]

never left a movie theatre where they handed out barf bags until today

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

A key point missing in a lot of post debate analysis is that Trump’s claim about immigrants eating pets almost perfectly syncs up to the piano in the Peanuts theme song.

[Dow @mark_dow]

Harris rn killing a baby in his 78th year

[lana phembot @face16]

@selbselb saved the day ❤️

[lana phembot @face16]

just kick me while I’m down why don’t ya

[rosie @crookedcourses]

acetaminopheminenomenon

[lana phembot @face16]

my origin story:

[Karli Marulli @karlimarulli]

trump: *waking up* wheres joe biden?
surgeon: who do you think gave you the ear 💕