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quotes from fading by tothemoonmydear

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“Yes I do Louis! You have an eating disorder! You aren't thinking straight! You're fading away!" Harry cries, the tears finally winning their battle and slipping past his lashes, "I'd rather have you hate me and be alive, than love me and be dead!”

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Louis and Zayn approach the hostess and Zayn asks for a booth for five.

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“I missed you today, it’s weird not talking to you.”

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“You look really good with your glasses on,” he says, with a shy one dimpled smile.

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“I know he’s such a nice guy Hannah. That’s just another reason he’s too good for me. He just hasn’t realized how much better than me he can do yet,” he says quietly as he helps Hannah up the stairs for her turn.

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“I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is while you’re in the world,” H arry finishes, holding the note until the crystal clear end.

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H arry tries not to be hurt that L iam is so quick to throw him out. He knows they're friends, he knows L iam doesn't hate him, but he also knows that L iam's protective instinct for L ouis overrides everything else. H arry can't leave without them knowing though.

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“What is what like?" L ouis asks, and he vaguely notices that his words are a little slurred.

"To have someone love you as much as H arry does?" N iall asks, grinning sheepishly, "I've always wanted someone to like- love me like that y'know? Unconditionally?”

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He knows he has to do it though, because he can't let the boy that he is madly and irrevocably in love with starve himself to death.

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H arry is gay and L ouis helped him, in some vague way, helped him feel like it was okay for him to come out. All L ouis can think about is the fact that H arry came out and is actually thankful that he did, that H arry’s world didn’t fall apart.

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The people at their university don’t care, they’re not the only gay couple there and L ouis thinks maybe their generation really is becoming more tolerant.

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He wants to go back to the way things were, when nobody saw, when nobody noticed. He doesn't want Z ayn to cry at night, he doesn't want L iam to cut open his knuckles, or bite his lips raw.

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“Thought you had left- like left the flat,” L ouis murmurs, “left- er- me.”

H arry sighs, and holds L ouis a little tighter, “I’m starting to wonder if that’s what you want,” he says, talking quietly.

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H arry is gay too. H arry is gay and L ouis helped him, in some vague way, helped him feel like it was okay for him to come out. All L ouis can think about is the fact that H arry came out and is actually thankful that he did, that H arry’s world didn’t fall apart.

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L ouis bites his lip and furrows his eyebrows for a long time before he speaks again, "so I'm-"

"The first person I've loved like that?" H arry supplies, "yup.”

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The silence left by H arry’s song is thick and palpable. L ouis thinks maybe he’s been rendered speechless because that was just so intensely beautiful that he really doesn’t know if he can say anything that would properly convey how he feels after that. He thinks maybe he can’t.

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“The magazine came out today! Did you forget?" H arry asks jerkily holding out the multiple copies he's currently in possession of.

L ouis smirks, "no, I didn't forget. Why are you freaking out? I already told you everything the interview said," he says.

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The picture shocked him. He isn't blind, he could see that he's bony, but that isn't actually how he is. He can physically grab every bit of fat on his body, he knows it's there, regardless of a picture. Maybe the picture showed him that he looks thin, but he knows that he isn't.

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H arry pulls back so quickly that L ouis almost flops over, "L ouis, listen to me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You have no fucking idea how much it means to me that you finally told me all of this.”

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“I need you to know, that everything you feel about yourself; all of that self hate, that voice inside your head telling you there is something wrong with you, it's all wrong. You are a beautiful person and I love you with all my heart, and we're going to get you through this,"

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@larryficore 😊

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“Do you know how much I love you?" H arry asks, even though he knows L ouis has no fucking idea, "do you know how much it hurts me, to watch you go through this. To watch you do this to yourself?”