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quote bot for me, dm if any issues, rentry for details, mod tweets tagged w 🐺

[. @faIIenbIood]

“but of course, nobody wants a defeatist for a hero”

[. @faIIenbIood]

i wonder ifanyone will reactivate my disabled accountswhen i die

[. @faIIenbIood]

today ill let fate decide. iwill pack up my things,essentials, and go for a walk. if iend up in front of a car, orbever cominghome, then itsokay… its okay… ithink ive mmade peace withmy fate

[. @faIIenbIood]

+ thing is id have to wait too long. if it takes 9 days to approve, not counting travel, then its almost her birthday. so if anything id have to do it again myself. i partially wish i didnt fail those times in february. i shouldnt have been caught

[. @faIIenbIood]

my grandmothers birthday is in 11days i was told. so i cant kill myself any closer to that date. and then risk her birthday being associated with mydeath every year. that means something would have to be done today or tomorrow or else id have to wait a few days

[. @faIIenbIood]

i have no last wishes and i dont want to “go out with a bang” i just want the way i go to be least traumatizing for those who found me. i need it to look like an accident. i need it to be i accidentally fell asleep in the tub. originally we discussed assisted suicide and the +

[. @faIIenbIood]

+ to sell, to give away. no one probably wantsanything if its mine. i dont want anything if its mine i cant blame. if respect matters to you then here. but ultimately id be deadso thats not for me to worry about

[. @faIIenbIood]

for my belongings i think it makes me sad to suggest they be sold. the “purple” items… please leave them here even if im not there. or give them to someone trusted. thats all i want okay? anything i drew isnt worth anything so thats all up to you. imsure there are some things +

[. @faIIenbIood]

i wanted to walk yesterday. though they knew that meant id be running away. and they knew that meant i might just try to get hit by a car. is that so bad? is that so bad? if i lay in the road is it so bad?

[. @faIIenbIood]

+ to make anyone cry. i font want anyone to grieve. please use what you would use for a funeral for me on a vacation for yourself. im begging you as i write this. please do not honor me. please do not love me. please leave me. once i’m gone please never look back

[. @faIIenbIood]

i have no wishes for what you do with me after. i used to want to be buried in greece or italy because i thought they were pretty. i used to want to be in a sapling so i could have life after death. i cant say theres anything i want anymore. i dont want a funeral. i dont want +

[. @faIIenbIood]

i died so many times these past months. i just wish it were real

[. @faIIenbIood]

im sorry it has gotten to this point. this is no one’s fault but my own. im sorry for everyone being affected by my bad karma by proxy. im sorry for being damaged the day i was born. im sorry to all i’m sorry to everyone

[. @faIIenbIood]

i don’t know if my notes will get any longer. if i say more then ill panic about everything i didn’t say and write for centuries. the notes on here are still accurate, to read if anything does arise

[. @faIIenbIood]

+ yet to come. an apology for those who regard me with proximity. an apology to those who left and will leave. an apology for those who “care”, they say. an apology because i cannot promise you in good conscience ill last longer

[. @faIIenbIood]

they say, it’s embarrassing coming back here for any reason. unless it were to reactivate the bot i see no purpose. the last thing i did was, i think, leave messages a night i planned on killing nyself. my mother found me and i lived, for better or for worse. it’s a good +

[. @faIIenbIood]

+ place for this, if need be. it’s public enough anyone finds it if i need to say goodbyes and private enough no one will find it otherwise. i don’t think i can do this much longer. i think id be naive to say so. id be naive to say i want to. this is an apology for anything +

[. @faIIenbIood]

icant seeenough to write anytnror goodbye notes ifthsi is itplease just carryon andbe happy please behappy please

[. @faIIenbIood]

whywas iborn