I'm the CEO

Overheard at a generic YC company.

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

Your #startup has a high burn rate? Dispute all charges, pay them, and dispute them again. We been rollin' for free since 2012 #smart #CEO

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

Does it have anything to do I have no answer for that.?

I mean yes

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

Context: No profits, under 6 months of cash in the bank.
Meeting topic: 2 year roadmap planning.
#startups #plsinvest #burndatcash #CEOgoals

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

You booked the conference room? Too bad, I'm sitting here staring at my #AppleWatch so go have that call in the basement #yc #sorrynotsorry

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

Morning #scrum with the #CEO bright and early at 9 AM to start the day. CEO arrives at 11.
Can we do it again guys?
#startups #plsinvest

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

GUYS were using this sweet holiday scheduling app, this way you can just request it whenever
> Everyones allowance is 0
#startups #shittyCEO

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

Get an open office and convince everyone of how much better it is. Move with your right hand man to the meeting room to #focus. #CEO #yc

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

In a team meeting:
*clears throat* "So everyone, our goal - turns to Head of Product - do we have a goal?"
#shitCEOsays #startups #plsinvest

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

"But if you change stuff our users are gonna go like "awwww shitt"
it's funny cause they're going aww shit right now

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

#CEO at team meeting: BUT WHY DONT WE TALK TO OUR USERS
#startups #yc #smart

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

All work and no play makes CEO a dull boy
All work and no play makes CEO a dull boy
All work and no play makes CEO a dull boy
#startups

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

#startup #CEO comes up with yet another new brilliant idea for investor demos and all you can think about saying is

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

I saw on #hackernews that chatbots are the future so our company vision is now that. Tomorrow who knows maybe self driving cars #startups

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

A problem still has to arise that can't be solved by a three day retreat in a #meeting room with people who don't know the product #startups

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

Pricing meetings are the correct place to completely re-shape company vision and start pivots. That's why we have them weekly #startups #yc

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

I have more awards for being a great #startup #CEO than profitable customers. #success

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

When your employees value company t-shirts higher than their #vesting stock because they're actually worth something. #startups #winning #yc

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

#lean #startup mentality means you celebrate with champagne but each person only gets a shot

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

I support #transparency, that's why I laid out all those important documents on my desk so you can have a peak #plsdontgo #startups #CEO #yc

[I'm the CEO @failingtoYC]

Keep your friends close and your competitors closer. Also don't brush your teeth for weeks so they suffer a lot #CEOgoals #smart #strategy