Jake

Not on here anymore.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

I know absolutely nothing about professional darts so come learn along with me OR laugh at how little I know.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

While I’m back here, I might as well mention that me and my pal Greg started a podcast about the PDC Championship Darts. We’ll do a limited run of 4 or 5 short episodes over the course of the tourney.

https://t.co/JtTC4nTqSG

[Jake @fake_ninja]

@JustinMcElroy reactivating my twitter to tell you that that book with the kid who reads minds when he brushes his teeth is called Elbert the Mind Reader.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

Well gang, we’ve found my limit. I’m out of here. If we’re mutuals and you want my contact info, send me a DM.

I’m peacing out in 24 hours.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

Well gang, we’ve found my limit. I’m out of here. If we’re mutuals and you want my contact info, send me a DM.

I’m peacing out in 24 hours.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

For the record, the answer is always “it’s the fucking sun” and I know y’all love me. I love y’all too.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

Time for the yearly game of “is life *really* empty and meaningless or is it just the fucking sun”

[Jake @fake_ninja]

Ok, we all saw my Bad Coffee Take, but here’s my actual coffee take:

It’s really awful to scoff at somebody else’s coffee order. Other people’s coffee orders are not failed iterations of your One True Good coffee order.

Other people are not failed versions of being you.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

I’m hilarious

[Jake @fake_ninja]

I finally thought of one!

Coffee is better iced than hot 😎

[James McLeod @jamespmcleod]

Post your worst take now.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

I saw #RIPTwitter trending and I thought something happened to it

[Jake @fake_ninja]

Katie: Hey, don’t leave me… I don’t want to go back to eating peasant food.

Jake: I mean Tuscan Soup kinda *is* peasant food…

Katie: …I meant AMERICAN peasant food.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

A good day to have a bad day

[Jake @fake_ninja]

“It looks like you’re trying to balance your hatred of the environmental toll that novelty clothing causes with your joy that Microsoft is acknowledging Clippy… I can help with that!”

[Jake @fake_ninja]

Damn, Microsoft, y’all got my number.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

@edthehyena104 Where there’s a will, there’s a way!

[Jake @fake_ninja]

Sometimes I like to set traps to make the cool people out themselves at work.

[Jake @fake_ninja]

@benjaminmoser It seems like there are now so many Disney Adults that they don’t have to cater to anyone else. The people who like it this way are worth more to them than you are.