Jake Quotes

Married to @asharivs, father to two little boys, and Christ follower. I'm just a guy who lives for sofishticated puns

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

Basically the only exercise I got today was wrestling a pine tree #latechristmastreeremoval #frozeninthebase #howdidiletitcometothis

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

*watches Thor*
I'm Thor-ry 😥 #punny #Thor

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

A: I'm getting better at dealing with kale as soon as I get back from the store! J->well, if you're going to do anything in the kitchen make sure you do it KALEfully 🤦🏼‍♀️#punny #kalejokes

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

After seeing cows in a trailer on the highway, I wonder if they're the ones steering🤔 #animalpuns

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

When I didn't have Twitter yet https://t.co/qKMeZf7bxe

[Ashleigh Rivers @AshaRivs]

"The lengths people would go to save their asses" #ReadFirstSamuel9 #Saul #searchforthedonkeys #Husbandpuns #SheReadsTruth #itsaBiblicalword

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

Did you hear about the church steeple that was struck by lightning? It was quite shocking #punny #churchhumour

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

I think we're over buffets #notapunfolks #therealityofgettingolder #datenight #themostshockingstatementever

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

That car looks like a toaster. Can you see it on a counter? #randomdrivingthoughts

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

Ash: these pickles are the real deal. Jake: or, the real DILL ... #punny #burgers #pickles

[Jake Quotes @fake_rivers]

There was a mouse on the road. I may have run over it. But you know what they say about squeaky wheels #driving #puns #mice