Fake Adrian Hanauer

I'm the owner, President, General Manager for Life of the greatest muthafuckin' soccer team in history.

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

Super skeeved out by that "showhole" commercial. Do they know?

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

Goddamn which one of you monsters touched me?

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

Like every other retiring old-timer we're offering @Fuzzyforeigner a job. The glass art at the 90 isn't going to dust itself.

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

You better have a seat. I think it's time we had this talk. You see, the 80's were a wild time... https://t.co/P6moWsgqst

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

We gon' get that TAM money. https://t.co/sAOWBiWvLu

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

Uh. No. https://t.co/CbRcrmjUBb

[Samuel Army @thesamuelarmy]

Still empty 😔 https://t.co/wCAZEAecU0

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

@KaylaKnappFOX @MarkFishkin Oh yeah, well you invented the... uh... Jerk Store! 😡

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

Of soap? https://t.co/sFY9O899s0

[Brenton! A casa! @CapsOffside]

Paulson said he’d buy the TA a bar if this happened. Looking forward to this.

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

🛁📻⚡️😵 #MLSCup https://t.co/IiPTtRxBad

[Major League Soccer @MLS]

Congratulations to @TimbersFC, 2015 #MLSCup champions!

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

If Adi was playing in Germany they'd probably nickname him "The Shoe." Adi Das Schuh.

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

Good tweet. https://t.co/86EwGj8LFS

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

If I launch my TV out the window & quit Twitter I never have to come to terms with who won. #MLSCup

[Maximiliano Bretos @MaxBretosSports]

Columbus, more crosses than Van Helsing. #MLSCup

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

This handball went back in time & stopped Portland's 2nd goal. Score now 2-1. #MLSCup https://t.co/lb10Nwx0t4

[Ben Jata @Ben_Jata]

Handball? #MLSCup https://t.co/hN16AsRQsr

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

@CapsOffside @alecko11 https://t.co/htAp5hH0Tx

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

Bathroom smoke. https://t.co/Vi1QUv9YFV

[Vancouver Whitecaps FC @WhitecapsFC]

CHALLENGE: Coffee is to Portland as _________ is to Columbus. Best Answer wins a @WhitecapsFC scarf.

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

Looks clean to me. 1st down. https://t.co/t7mQaHThxz

[Howler Magazine @whatahowler]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ https://t.co/MRXYeDVo8p

[Fake Adrian Hanauer @FakeAdrianHa]

@CapsOffside @alecko11 Apparently Canada is.

[Tom Biro 🥑 @tombiro]

Perfect tweet placement.

[W. Knutt Megg Esq. @MLSmuppet]

#MLSCup https://t.co/lfSUqZQh5k