Sebastien River Z.

I live in between words and memories in fall.

[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

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[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

To the one who welcomed me with the warmest greeting few months ago, you know I wouldn't be here without you. Your "welcome home, Abang." will always be my favorite. So thank you, for everything. You will always be my little Adik. :)
https://t.co/kqWRVjav9o

[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

—🍁

Autumn always teaches us how to let go gently. And this space has been my quiet corner for a while, filled with warmth and fragments of who I was. To each one of you, thank you for walking with me through the seasons— so long, to everything that once bloomed.

[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

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[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

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[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

Kamu sini deh, cuti. Bilang cuti urus suami @laviestbien.

[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

Cannot sleep with my wife tonight is the thing that tortures me the most. How can I sleep peacefully like I always do with her..

[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

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[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

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[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

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[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

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ᅠ https://t.co/edX8AO1qog

[Ligeia A. Noir. @ashbornenoir]

You say I’m everywhere inside you, Sebastien. But maybe that’s because you never learned how to breathe without me. I didn’t mean to stay this long, yet somehow I did. I lingered in the cracks, in the noise beneath your silence. In the places you thought I’d never reach.

[Ligeia A. Noir. @ashbornenoir]

You think I’m the reason you’re alive. But the truth is crueler. You’ve kept me alive, too, in every trembling part of you that still remembers my name. And maybe that’s what love really is. Not devotion, not healing, just two bodies keeping each other awake through the ruin.

[Ligeia A. Noir. @ashbornenoir]

We don’t call it love here. So, call it what you want, Sebastien. But every time I breathe, it answers to you. It was always you.

[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

There’s something about the way his name echoes in silence. Like a promise I never asked for, yet stayed anyway. The kind of quiet that ruins me and I’d still be thankful for it.

[Sebastien River Z. @fallmemoir]

I said when I stay still, I can feel you everywhere inside me, as if you're the only reason who keeping me alive. Through my trembling hands, in the noise beneath my silence, inside my broken ribs and rotten body, you're everywhere.

[Ligeia A. Noir. @ashbornenoir]

I didn’t come to fix you. I came to sit beside the wreckage. To press my hand against the trembling and call it alive. I came to listen to the noise beneath your silence. That small, disobedient pulse that still believes in morning. Maybe love is, the act of not looking away.