incorrect flozmin

“Flor wants to bang Jazmín and Jazmín wants to bang Flor.” - Javo, capítulo 62

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz: i wasn’t that drunk last night
javo: you were flirting w flor last night
jaz: so? she’s my girlfriend
javo: you asked her if she was single
javo: and cried when she said she wasn’t

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz: the house looks like a mess, we need to clean it

flor: who's coming over?

jaz: no one

flor: then why do we have to clean it? we already know we live like this

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

[cop interrogating flor]
flor: i'll tell you the truth
cop:
flor: ok nevermind dare

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

miru: how was the honeymoon?

jaz: flor got drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire while screaming “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz: we are talking about the greater good!

flor: greater good? i am your wife! im the greatest good you are ever gonna get!

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

[on a date]

flor: [don't let her know how awkward you are]

jaz: nice weather

flor: thanks

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

flor: [comes out of fitting room]
jaz: that shirt is horrible
flor: this is the shirt i came in

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz: [sitting on flor’s lap] i'm on top of the world
flor: you're on top of me
jaz: i know [kisses flor]
jaz: you are my world

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

flor: jaz if you really loved me you wouldn’t do this

jaz: stop you’re making this harder than it needs to be

flor: please i'm begging you after all we've been through?

jaz: i'm so sorry pichi

jaz: [places a +4 card]

jaz: uno

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

flor: come over
jaz: i’m busy
flor: my parents aren’t home ;)
jaz: i know
flor: what
jaz: i’m hanging out with them
flor: what
jaz: your dad says hello

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz: [lying on the ground in the sun]
flor: hey what are you doing?
jaz, sarcastically: photosynthesizing
flor: oh...
flor, lays down next to her: i bet i can photosynthesize better than you

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

flor: are lobsters mermaids to scorpions?

jaz: pichi please it's four in the fucking morning

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

flor: we’re playing scrabble. it’s a nightmare.
jaz: scrabble? scrabble’s great.
flor: not when you’re playing with lucia, it’s not. she puts words like “ephemeral”, and i put “dog”.

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz, taking a selfie: look at me please

flor: you’re taking a picture of yourself, why do you need me to look at you?

jaz: so i can smile

flor, blushing: i hate you

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz: you spent our entire life savings on dogs

flor: they're golden retrievers, jaz. they retrieve gold. i did it for us.

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

flor: i love you
jaz: i love you more
flor: no, i love you mo-
jaz: don’t start a game you can’t win

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

flor: uwu

carla: stop that

flor: ;w;

jaz, from across the room: great job boluda now she's sad

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

flor: if corals get stressed they die, so if i were a coral, i’d be dead
jaz: what do corals even get stressed about?
flor: current events
jaz:
jaz: i'm leaving you

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz: i hate you!
flor: yeah, i hate me too.
jaz:
jaz: [concerned] mi amor, we’ve talked about this.

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz: you know what, flor?
flor: what?
jaz: if i were a cat, i'd spend all 9 lives with you...
flor: [clutches heart] jaz...

[incorrect flozmin @falseflozmin]

jaz: our can opener’s broken
flor: so now it’s a can’t opener?
jaz:
jaz: i can’t believe that i fell in love with you