Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤)

hiiiii. 31. swiftie. dog mom. taco bell enthusiast. 🖤 $beeskneesxo

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@VerizonSupport Can somebody fix this shit please? It’s been HOURS. No real update besides “we’re working on it”. No ETA. No explanation. Nothing. Everybody better be getting at least 2 months free on their bills. Cause this is crazy work.

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@OPI_PRODUCTS Hey so now that we’re getting #Wicked part 2, can we get those Galinda press on’s back? Maybe permanently? Please? They are my favorite press on’s I’ve ever worn and I’ve got my last pack that I’m holding onto for dear life.

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@tacobell for the LOVE OF CHRIST can you PLEASE have your employees bag the Mexican pizzas differently or put them in sturdier packaging? Cause I shouldn’t be paying $15 for a combo and my Mexican pizza comes half stuck to the lid of the box. 🙄🙄

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

Brion telling Shante he’s going to be a great father to their future children like he wasn’t just fucking two other girls in a bathroom on public television for their future children to see on the internet later is CRAAAAAAAZY WORK. #TemptationIsland

[katie @troianns]

yes my bisexuality does in fact range from a 5ft blonde singer to a pushing 50 year old actor

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@PopFlopHQ But like… for what purpose? What does this accomplish other than decrease our numbers of active duty US military, therefore weakening us as a country. I don’t wanna hear a single MAGA voter whine when they end up in the fuckin draft cause we need the numbers. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@Wawa can you please teach your staff that asking for my bread to be toasted doesn’t mean I want the bread to be so hard it cuts my gums when I bite it? Cause it’s getting real annoying to have my sandwich get to me & I can knock on it like a door.

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@xxrachhh @shelby_l_s This made me cackle 😂😂😂

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@parisrae13 Maybe stop taking your children to see an artist perform when you know they have a song with the lyric “IM SO FUCKING HORNY” and “Come right on me, I mean comraderie”. Like… babe that says nothing about Sab as a performer & everything about YOU as a parent. 🙄

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@realDonaldTrump I would rather pick every single nail out of a picnic table with my teeth than even glance at your disgraceful name on the ballot. #HarrisWalz2024

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@AJRBrothers 11/21/19- I went to the Neotheater tour with my mom & little sister. Now, I sit in my living room with my 5 month old son, watching TMM after losing my mom in June. Thank you for the memories I got to make with my mom, and the new ones I get to make with my son. 🖤

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@tantaytay Don’t worry. Us Rep girlies will take care of this REAL quick. 😂

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

When you have a fussy overtired baby, you’d turn on lullabies. Not in our house. Kendrick prefers to watch his namesake @kendricklamar on repeat. Anyone wanna guess what daddy listened to the whole last few months of my pregnancy? 🙃 Pretty sure his first words will be O-V-hoe 🥲

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

Merab is playing too much. It’s all fun & games now… till you play stupid games & win stupid prizes. 🙃 #UFC306

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

As a mom with COVID & a teething baby… I’ve never been so grateful for @SnoopDogg in my life. Doggyland is the only thing keeping him (and let’s be honest- me) from crying. 🙃 Have I heard “There’s no one better to be than myself!” about 824 times? Yes. Worth it? Also yes. 👏🏻

[Taylor Swift Updates @SwiftNYC]

“Do what you fucking do. You gotta feel it!” - Taylor Swift #ChiefsKingdom https://t.co/HWezcf0aqA

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

Oh so we’re all just casually watching the public funeral of Drake on Amazon Prime rn? 😂😂😂 #ThePopOut #KenAndFriends

[Krystal (metlife 5.26🖤) @fancee_flamingo]

@linnswifty @moonlithoax Every other ex: “don’t write a song about me.”
Travis: “MAAAAAAN THIS SHITS A BANGER! Play that shit again.” 😂