fapmaster

Masturbation expert. I'm here to lend a helping hand! Ask me anything!

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

I'm bored with masturbating. Follow my real account: @fancydink

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

I want to emphasize "well-cooked" in my earlier tweet. Ejaculating an al dente noodle may indicate a serious underlying medical condition.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@The_Vole Rub it better.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@beerbuttchicken Switch up which hand you use to avoid a bend in either direction.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@CatalinaLoves There are many stupid terms for women masturbating, like "strumming the clitar", but "jacking off" is becoming unisex I hear.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

It is perfectly natural to ejaculate a well-cooked spaghetti noodle.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@Genmilk Well, to start, it can shoot out cum. Also, transform its own physical properties to become larger and more dense simultaneously.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

Fact: my penis is amazing and can do cool things that other penises cannot do.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

Pro Tip (male): Interested in auto-fellatio? Look into a yoga pose called "The Plough"

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

Top 10 Masturbation Scenes (video): http://tinyurl.com/d9z2gl

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

Pro Tip: Having trouble falling asleep? There is no better way to sign off for the evening than to rub one out under the bed

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

RT @saultheturtle Ever tried jacking off after an intense upper body workout? It's hard

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@dopegirlfresh And I love following you!

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

Pro Tip (Female): The clitoris is near the anterior junction of the labia minora, above the opening of the urethra and vagina

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@SuedeSweetness You won't shave off any girth. You may give yourself a blister though, so either use lube or, if possible, your foreskin.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@JamesMorrissey You, sir, are correct.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@dantoth You have no idea how gratifying it is for me to know that I am helping so many.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@SuedeSweetness If you don't want to go to the trouble, try simply stopping your hand motion when you cum. A straight shot will go further.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

@SuedeSweetness Stop short of orgasm, relax, and repeat two or three times. This will max out the semen your body can store.

[fapmaster @fapmaster]

General Masturbation Tip (male): Don't be lazy! Take your shirt off before you begin. It washes out easy, but your mom will know what it is.