Tom

Infamous sock wearer, gadget-whore, unintentional blasphemer, hypacrite, sarcastic servant of Xenu, Pastafarian, absurdist and thantophobic

[Tom @far2narf]

I am a product, of time and motion.

[Tom @far2narf]

Is it true children aren't real, they're just anti-matter?

[Tom @far2narf]

@VirginAtlantic hi I just came of 49 and I left a camera on board, we're through security now what should we do

[Tom @far2narf]

@VirginAtlantic is the only way to use a reward voucher to call up? as I've been on hold for 30min

[Tom @far2narf]

@virginmedia how dare you, my mother in law just lost her husband, and she had to be on the phone for you for over 2 hours, been wildly stressful and confusing and now has to do it all again in 30 days because of accounts. It was less stressful get a death certificate! Horrible.

[Tom @far2narf]

@AskVirginMoney hi the freeze card button on your app doesn't work and I can't get through to an agent on your fraud line.

[Tom @far2narf]

@NickShackleton @YardHouse Amazing! Thanks!

[Tom @far2narf]

Constants and variables

[Tom @far2narf]

Eight is a lot of legs, david

[Tom @far2narf]

One more time

[Tom @far2narf]

First things first, you're not dead, you're at a pool party

[Tom @far2narf]

@AXS_UK if my housemate has bought 4 Taylor tickets via the midnight vinyl presale, does that mean I'm blocked from being able to buy tickets in the general sale as we live at the same address?

[Tom @far2narf]

@PinkMoonCamping hi! We're staying in the Harvest Moon area at IOW festival. I was wondering if there would be anywhere to get ice?

[Tom @far2narf]

@CWOA will Mandrill Mayhem be open today?

[Tom @far2narf]

@CWOA will Mandrill mayhem be open tomorrow?

[Tom @far2narf]

@PerfectDraft_uk Thanks!!

[Tom @far2narf]

Is it dickish, I dunno, who cares. Die young and save yourself

[Tom @far2narf]

New birthday tradition: listening to Brand New vinyls and drinking scotch on my birthday.