Katelyn

[Katelyn @farrellxkay]

The hot guy that used to work in the office, but now works from home, called me today to ask for help and we chatted on the phone for a while about nonwork related things so lemme just say... it’s a great day.

[Katelyn @farrellxkay]

My only critic of @mo5aic after seeing their show tonight is: If you perform on a cruise ship, you must add “Boats N Hoes” to your set. It’s a classic on the seas…

[☔ @Whotfismick]

When someone asks me if I'm a dog or cat person

me:

[kyle cL @kycarrerolopez]

hate when a job asks you to set “goals”

my only “goal” is to remain employed so that i can continue to pay for my living expenses while finding fulfillment in the areas of my life unrelated to a day job

[Imani Gandy is at BlueSky Now @AngryBlackLady]

It’s racism. I kept saying this in 2015 and no one would listen. Socialism is not going to work in a country that is as racist as ours. Because there are white people in this country who would suffer themselves if it meant that they also get to watch Black people suffer.

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

sorry i didn’t answer your call. i don’t do that

[Katelyn @farrellxkay]

@headgum, just wanted to let you know I love @calebsaysthings and @ShelbyWolstein. They deserve all the snacks and they should be able to do donuts in the parking lot with the company Miata at least one time.

[Edgar @LifeOfEdgar]

Don’t get it twisted, if you see me drinking this 4th of July it’s because I love drinking, not this country.

[Shannon Woodward @shannonwoodward]

if I don’t have the right to control my own body why the hell am I paying taxes

[Comedy Central Stand-Up @standup]

.@calebsaysthings’s favorite student absolutely roasted him.

Watch the full set: https://t.co/RDBEs8zeNh

[[email protected] @bb_apes]

you might be having a bad day, but just remember, there’s someone out there who has the cilantro soap gene and at least you’re not them

[Morgan Murphy @morgan_murphy]

happy mothers day ?

[90s WWE @90sWWE]

Elon Musk: *offers to buy Twitter for 41 Billion*

Me, who got it for free on the App Store:

[❤️‍🔥 puppy angst ❤️‍🔥 @puppyangst]

me as soon as the temperature goes above 50 degrees

[𝒶𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓈𝓅𝑜𝓃𝓈𝒾𝒷𝓁𝑒 @bootholee]

this isn’t very premium of you spotify

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

Crypto is just the stock market for people who think superhero movies should win more Oscars.

[shelby wolstein @ShelbyWolstein]

have snoop and martha ever like… almost? like there was a tension in the air, both of them felt it, but neither of them knew if it was the right move so they just said… goodnight? but both fell asleep staring at the ceiling thinking… “woah”