iggy azalia’s cousin

[dakota @im2hai]

hinge is like omg yay Shit from a Butt liked me

[27. @dimvji]

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use. the worst part is everything else

[𝟮𝟭.🛸 @Big_tagg]

i’ve tasted Unemployment and I’ve tasted 9-5.
i recommend not being born.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I've never found a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.

[alexis @miss_flawIess]

Going to a coffee place and making more than two adjustments to my drink

[lily @c0wgirlonline]

emergency vet be like give us three million dollars right now or your cat gets the firing squad

[𝔰𝔥𝔲𝔯𝔞 @shura]

our good friends in space waiting to be picked up after splashdown

[fishious @fishquichee]

Giving my inner child weed

[pamela ☁️☀️🛸 @tisthepamseason]

do u remember how crazy What Not To Wear was? the people you loved emailed somebody saying you dressed ugly and then they put you under surveillance, kidnapped you, and threw away all your clothes

[fawn @fawnncel]

april fools Never made sense to me why would you start off a beautiful month with a day of trickery . Just makes no sense. Why not call it april loves. April joys. April smart person

[kyle @kyle4prezident]

WE ARE TAYLOR FRANKIE PAULLL, WE CARRY THE ROSE 🌹

[steak @communicat1022]

I just ate a crumb of paint from my wall and it tasted really good so I am eating a bigger piece now

[rated ✧* @imyrated]

How I feel when I double-tap my AirPods to skip a song

[Neet @neet_sol]

office jobs are so funny because you'll be 24 and your life will be literally over already

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

The older i get, the more i hate making extra stops after work

I drive home like i'm late for my house

[iggy azalia’s cousin @fartinghard69]

10:18 feels earlier than 10 pm

[alexis amber 💌 @daiquiriheiress]

and that’s just mine

[Hugh Mungus @HubertObungus]

Smoking weed all the time makes you retarded. I conducted a study on myself to prove this

[lesbian @ianisgayjesus]

9am and im smoking a pink joint