.

[. @fatblackmark]

Champeones

[. @fatblackmark]

No time to grab any Haribos or whatever, so they'll have what they're given!
#Halloween2025

[. @fatblackmark]

Mad that Cole Palmer gets paid all that money and chooses to have that haircut
#UECLfinal

[. @fatblackmark]

Valentines Day is like the London marathon for me, comes once a year, and because I'm fat and grossly unfit, I'll never take part in one.

[. @fatblackmark]

Cold out there, proper foreskin weather 🥶

[. @fatblackmark]

Outside with the dogs. If it's raining we'll put some newspaper down in the kitchen

[. @fatblackmark]

@bl0ssomhill @omnipotnce 😂😂

[. @fatblackmark]

You know you're getting old and life's coming at you fast when the nightclub youve seen lads shit in urinals, women get fingered in the smoking area, and watched a current premier league footballer snort coke off the bathroom sink, is being redeveloped into a church 🙃

[. @fatblackmark]

*girl I've inexplicably managed to agree to go on a date with me: "listen, I'm gonna get off, this isn't going to work out"

Me: *me 22 pints and a wetherspoons mixed grill deep, shirtless, bog-eyed and dribbling: "wha...why?"

[. @fatblackmark]

Trick or treating is essentially Uber Eats for paedophiles. The kids come straight to the door.

Paedo Eats?

[. @fatblackmark]

If Southgate had masterminded the 9/11 attacks, he'd have had Mohamed Atta fly the plane towards the towers then have him turn back towards the airport
#EURo2024

[. @fatblackmark]

Listen, I'm not saying I want king Charles to kop it, I'm not so much a ghoul, but I do quite fancy a couple of extra bank holidays this year 🤷🏾‍♂️

[. @fatblackmark]

Jamaican bros won't eat pussy but will get a bitch pregnant on the first link

[. @fatblackmark]

"New year, new me"

Miss me with that gay shit!

[. @fatblackmark]

I like Peaky Blinders, good series, but if you ever see me wearing a flat cap and dressing like the characters of the show unironically as if it's fashionable, check my hard drive

[. @fatblackmark]

All I do is pay bills and do clothes washing. If I knew it'd have been like this I'd have taken an L at the egg

[. @fatblackmark]

Hear me out: Never-ending Nut November 🤷🏽‍♂️

[. @fatblackmark]

Just relegate @SheffieldUnited now 😂

[. @fatblackmark]

I messaged her at 9:11 on 9/11 and now she thinks we're meant to be

Just call me Osama Bin Ladiesman

[. @fatblackmark]

When you jizz in a fat bird from Leeds