Jack

[Jack @fathead85]

@BadLegalTakes I’m a lawyer and this is true actually. A J.D is a less complicated drama degree and most of law school is just an improv class.

[Jack @fathead85]

@BadLegalTakes My favorite part of being on a jury is receiving money from the defendant if they are found innocent

[Jack @fathead85]

Just learned that Phil Collins’ 1981 hit “In The Air Tonight” was written about the death of Paul Walker

[Jack @fathead85]

Maybe the real Attack on Titan was the friends we made along the way

[Jack @fathead85]

I hate when I pet someone’s dog and the owner thinks we are suddenly friends. I’m not friends with you, I’m friends with your dog. We are friends of friends

[Jack @fathead85]

When I fuck girls I only put in 78% of my dick. The wage gap exists in all parts of life.

[Jack @fathead85]

Boys skip their philosophy class but still snapchat girls all day. Bro you’re worried about the wrong thots

[Jack @fathead85]

Cool first date ideas:
A romantic walk in the woods
Picnic
Yell at a man in a yellow suit to get off of your property
Break your friend out of jail because their secret of immortality would be revealed if they are hanged
Pour magic water on a toad

[Jack @fathead85]

Just found out the Assassin’s Creed movie is based on a video game, might have to check it out

[Jack @fathead85]

Ben Solo’s great grandfather is Palpatine. Rey’s grandfather is palpatine. That means there are now two incest kisses in Star Wars.

[Jack @fathead85]

My life is a movie in the way that it is always late in the second act where everything goes wrong for the main character

[Jack @fathead85]

Deadpool 3 will be better than the previous two

[Jack @fathead85]

They really expect us to believe that Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford had sex and Adam Driver popped out. Wake up sheeple

[Jack @fathead85]

The fact that palpatine says “dew it” in 2019 is proof that God is real

[Jack @fathead85]

If your sleeves go past your hands please call me at this number: 1-800-273-8255

[Jack @fathead85]

You are telling me that there are people that believe that Harry Potter was a top. LOL it always amazes me how fucking stupid some people are

[Jack @fathead85]

You: New York City Me, an intellectual: Downstate New York

[Jack @fathead85]

Rise of Skywalker spoilers ahead, Dont read if you havent seen it yet:
Ok now that all the virgins are gone can someone please explain what sex is to me. Thanks!

[Jack @fathead85]

I can’t believe my parents just gaslighted me in “their” house about them paying for my college tuition

[Jack @fathead85]

Why do people think it’s okay to have “always” written in the deathly hollows letters as a bumper sticker. Snape was a simp and an incel and if he was a current college professor he would be cancelled. Alexa send tweet