Fauzi Hadi and 41 others

I’m good at nothing and possess no talent.

[Fauzi Hadi and 41 others @fauzihadi]

baru juga mao masuk tk, emak bapaknya udah ribet nyari sd. gak nyangka fauzi bisa sampe ke momen ini. nikmati..

[Kementerian Kegelapan @kemgelapan]

Betul, Pak.

Ini dia salah satu sosok penghasut yang mesti ditindak!

[Inisial RF 🇵🇸 @thoriqatuna]

Ada penggalan kalimat menarik di dua video ini.

Video 1: "Jadi menurutmu mas kalo wartawan gak kompeten?".
Video 2: "Maksudmu, ustad gak pintar?".

Nah, persamaannya kedua-duanya trmsuk straw man dlm kerangka cacat berpikir. Sdangkn perbedaannya, yg satu goblok natural, yg satu dibungkus dlm komedi.

[Football Tweet ⚽ @Footballtweet]

🚨 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧! Odsonne Edouard could have played at the World Cup with Haiti but didn’t feel it was deserved. ❌🇭🇹

“No, I didn’t feel legitimate playing in this World Cup because the players fought to qualify.

I wasn’t going to arrive at the last minute and take advantage of the World Cup. If I’m going to play in it, I have to earn it.”

Pure class 👏💛❤️

[Fauzi Hadi and 41 others @fauzihadi]

@rangganbaskara balik jadi batman aja rang

[Fauzi Hadi and 41 others @fauzihadi]

@rangganbaskara berani berani ngucapin hbd ke ayangku

[EuroFoot @eurofootcom]

🇫🇷⚡️ 14 years ago today, Hatem Ben Arfa with a class solo goal for Newcastle. 😍

[Southampton FC @SouthamptonFC]

@MrBoldOne @EmiratesFACup Enjoy your quadruple, pal.

[Sum 41 @Sum41]

Back in 2018, we had the opportunity to play Faint by @linkinpark with our good friend, @mikeshinoda. It was an absolute blast.

[Fauzi Hadi and 41 others @fauzihadi]

walaupun kalah, sialnya aku tetap bangga wkwkwkw love u @NUFC

[Fauzi Hadi and 41 others @fauzihadi]

heran abu janda masih aja dikasi panggung

[Fauzi Hadi and 41 others @fauzihadi]

angkot bogor kontlo

[Fauzi Hadi and 41 others @fauzihadi]

hahaha alan smith my lord

[The Away End @theawayendhq]

Players with the most red cards in Premier League history 🟥

Patrick Viera - 8
Richard Dunne - 8
Duncan Ferguson - 8
Lee Cattermole - 7
Alan Smith - 7
Roy Keane - 7
Vinnie Jones - 7

[Irfan Muhammad @iiirf]

ya elu bayangin aja pemimpin dunia tuh kayak gimana karismatiknya ga mungkin banget gibran masuk kategori begitu 🤣

[Reza Sudrajat @penduduk_lokal_]

@kompascom Dengan mengucapkan Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, saya akan melanjutkan gugatan perkara ini apapun hasilnya

Mohon dukungan & doa dari semuanya, demi Pendidikan kita. Panjang umur Pekerja Pendidikan 🙏

[Fauzi Hadi and 41 others @fauzihadi]

ben10 the magician!

[Football Tweet ⚽ @Footballtweet]

🚨 These INCREDIBLE ANECDOTES about the career of Hatem Ben Arfa 😭🇫🇷

▪️ Very quickly recognised in Lyon as a teenager, he’s stopped by two girls at McDonald’s and replies:
“Sorry, Hatem is my twin brother — my name is Sofiane…”

▪️ One day, Juninho Pernambucano asks him to help pick up the kit with the other youngsters and Hatem replies: “You’re just a free-kick taker, you don’t give me orders.” 😳

▪️ In Marseille, teammates were surprised to see him carrying books by Spinoza, Kant and Freud in his bag — they ended up nicknaming him “Socrates.”

▪️ During his initiation at PSG, he scratched some teammates after smashing the bottle he’d grabbed as a microphone while singing Billie Jean: He hadn’t realised the object was made of glass. 🫗

▪️ In 2008, after his transfer to Marseille, Lyon’s kit man discovered that he’d left a €90,000 cheque in his locker.

▪️ His first Ligue 1 coach, Paul Le Guen, sometimes had to stop training sessions for fear the senior players would lash out because he was humiliating them.

▪️ To this day, he remains THE ONLY PLAYER EVER DEEMED TOO GOOD in the history of INF Clairefontaine. 💎🤯

▪️ At just 12 years old, he was sponsored by Nike and attracting scouts from Real Madrid, Juventus and Ajax in Montrouge. 🍿

[Ardianto Satriawan @ardisatriawan]

ORANG LUAR NEGERI KE INDONESIA

"Hello, where are you from?"
"I am from the US."
"What are you going to do here?"
"Vacation."
"Great, you just need to pay IDR 500,000 for a Visa on Arrival."
"Here."
"Have a nice vacation."

***

"Hi, you're late to the online meeting."
"Sorry, it's 2 AM here. I have to adjust my schedule."
"Where are you now?"
"I stay in Bali now. It's cheap, the living cost is only a tiny fraction of my salary. I can save A LOT, and by A LOT I mean A LOOOOT."
"Wow, you don't need a work visa for that?"
"I just stay in my room. No one knows that I am working. As long as the internet works."
"Local tax?"
"No, I am on a tourist visa."

***

"Having a nice vacation? You stayed a whole two months."
"Yeah, my visa is almost expired, so I have to leave."
"Kuala Lumpur? Must be another vacation."
"Yes, only for three days, I will be back again after that."

***

"Hello, where are you from?"
"I am from the US."
"What are you going to do here?"
"Vacation."
"Great, you just need to pay IDR 500,000 for the Visa on Arrival."
"Here."
"Have a nice vacation."

***

"Having a nice vacation? You stayed a whole two months."
"Yeah, my visa is almost expired, so I have to leave."
"Bangkok? Must be another vacation."
"Yes, only for three days, I will be back again after that."

***

"Hello, where are you from?"
"I am from the US."
"What are you going to do here?"
"Vacation."
"Great, you just need to pay IDR 500,000 for the Visa on Arrival."
"Here."
"Have a nice vacation."

***

"It's been almost two years since you stayed in Bali, how is it?"
"Amazing, cheap, and tax-free!"

ORANG INDONESIA KE LUAR NEGERI

"Halo mbak, saya perlu urus visa Schengen buat ke Belanda."
"Untuk keperluan apa?"
"Saya ada konferensi ilmiah di Rotterdam. Buat S3 saya, wajib hadir presentasi biar papernya bisa terbit."
"Oke ini jadwal yang tersedia."
"Mesti nunggu 2 bulan?"
"Iya mas, penuh soalnya."
"Aduh, mepet ya."
"Coba dulu aja mas. Ini syarat dokumennya."

***

"Kenapa uang tabungannya cuma segini? Mas perlu sekian ratus juta mengendap."
"Saya adanya cuma segini."
"Mas perlu surat pernyataan gak akan kerja di sana."
"Lah, itu surat undangan dari konferensi gak cukup?"
"Gak cukup, harus ada tabungan sama pernyataan."
"..."

***

"Ini tiket pulang pergi juga udah harus ada."
"Jadi tiket PP udah harus saya beli, tapi visa belum tentu keluar?"
"Iya"
"Hah?"
"Memang aturannya begitu."
"Kalau nanti abis visa keluar gimana?"
"Visanya bisa gak keluar."

***

"Halo, visa Anda ditolak."
"Hah kenapa?"
"Kami gak bisa kasih tahu alasannya."
"Haduh, terus paper konferensi saya gimana?"
"Maaf ya Mas. Saya harus layani antrian selanjutnya."