Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas

ORA PRO NOBIS, CHIMICHANGAS

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

The FBC would like to take this historic moment on twitter, when we are all celebrating free speech as guaranteed by the First Amendment to the US Constitution, to announce that we believe noted cisgender transphobe Elon Musk is a beta cuck.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

The FBC would like to remind the good citizens of America that Elon Musk is Edrogan’s bitch.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

The FBC director fired half our staff, changed the chimichanga recipe, re-hired everyone, had the recipe very quietly returned to the original chimi recipe (the new one had caused 17 deaths nationwide) and is now pretending the past month never happened. Business as usual.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

@Froschauer_AF @doyhickey @mrsauntiepam CORRECT

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

We’ve stopped seven feral chimis attempting to leave FBC headquarters dressed as the former president for Halloween. Truth be told, the likeness is impressive when they’re wearing suits and wigs.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

Early reminder: today is Chimichanga Chewsday. You may now plan your day accordingly.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

We would have tweeted about National Chimichanga Day yesterday, but our offices were closed in observance of our most beloved day.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

@chemdawgtweaker The only chimichangas to fear are our feral sentient chimichangas, and we have them all accounted for at this time.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

@Adelthebrain02 The FBC approve of this tweet.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

@komradecarl We have a department full of people who work on this very thing.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

We apologize for the confusion when one of our interns thought “ChimiThonga Thursday” could be a thing.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

@innismir We don’t judge, Ben.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

This is also an appropriate number of chimichangas to consume this weekend. #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

How will you be observing Chimichanga Chewsday?

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

We can neither confirm nor deny a FBC experiment opened a rift to the Chimichanga Galaxy in the sky over South Dakota a few weeks ago, but according to some of our sentient chimis, their “phone home” finger beacons were active for a few hours.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

@saxonskinner Why would you think we aren’t?

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

@BeeeejEsq Oddly enough, our folks in R&D confirm the existence of a black hole that produces stretchy (spaghettified) chimichangas.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

It’s the weekend. Please be sure to put on your stretchy chimichanga eating pants.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

@nurse_death Please don’t force us to refer this ticket to the Tactical Chimichanga Response Team.

[Federal Bureau Of Chimichangas @FBChimichangas]

@gbergan Wise.