Wildcat FC

A purple, 4-4-2 shaped, direct, high pressing machine intent on winning every tournament in the midwest while passing back to our keeper as seldom as possible

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Wildcat FC is proud to announce a big move to WASTEFL starting fall 2024! With only one club per continent, this Super League is known for such premier events as #AntarcticaPolarShowcase and #TheOutbackDownunderExclusive - here we go! 🐾⚽️

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Its tryout time. If Johah Cruyff could dazzle the world with his nuts hanging half out his shorts then you can too. #wearthemshortsshort
#makethemuncomfortable

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

#NewProfilePic

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Prior tweet also applies for money grab 4v4’s. Don’t get me started. (4 v damn 4. Please.)

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

You wanna strap up for a 3v3? Pink socks. Ask Coach David first though. Most of ya’ll junk ass teams can’t wear pink socks. Only the best of the best.

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Wildcat FC continues to have great success with our new fetal academy program! Kicking strength of our fetus players is improving so much that two academy moms had to be hospitalized with broken ribs from internal fetus academy kicks last week! E L I T E

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Is your toddler elite? Come on out to pre-school academy training next Monday thru Thursday 7:30-9:30pm. Wildcat FC pre-school academy is currently ranked #2 in the entire northern hemisphere.

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Would you rather fight a chicken every time you get in your car, or an orangutan with a sword once per year?

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

‘Alexa, show me a picture of the stupidest trophy you’ve ever seen’

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Congratulations to Coach Steve for winning the ‘Spare Master’ trophy in his bowling league!

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

If you don’t know what this is then practice is going to be especially painful for you this week. #5Ds

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

@fc_wildcat would like to wish a very happy birthday to the founder of our supporters club, Mr. @HankMardukis26 . And many more!

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

With the fall weather upon us, this is the annual reminder to all players that we have a zero tolerance policy for wearing field player gloves with short sleeves.

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Sunny day? Thinking about putting a baseball hat on Junior for his soccer game? Go right ahead - nothing wrong with your kid growing up to be a stupid little priss, the bullies of the world need them.

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Big club news! We will now be hosting MONTHLY Wildcat FC tournaments! These money grabs - er - premier events will feature fewer and fewer real opponents. However, we have secured busloads of homeless people who will dress in Waza kits (believable) to round out each bracket!

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

Word to the wise: if your kid is a referee at Junior Wildcats, do NOT wear your Wildcat FC shirt up to watch unless you want every noob parent to come up to you and ask you which field their little ankle biter brat is playing on.

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

6. And that damn clown with the Vuvuzella is god damn Jar Jar Binks.

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

5. Next week we’ll talk about how to watch out for the soccer club versions of this guy!

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

4. And finally, your Darth Vaders. It’s Harkes doodling Wynalda’s wife. Or McKennie getting a bit handsy and such with Pulisic’s sister. Your soccer powers may be great but don’t be a damn Darth Vader. Also don’t get cozy with your sister. We’ve lost steam here - WILDCATFC!

[Wildcat FC @fc_wildcat]

3. Soccer Yodas are your elders, playing 90 minutes on toes like these. Or no longer playing at all because their knee caps became tether balls and their legs the pole. Much wisdom they have, hmmmmmmm?!?