Emma Ponsford

[Emma Ponsford @featurefactory7]

Weird how nothing more than office gossip (ooh the scandal!) about Schofield is still making headline news. Non-media cliques don’t give a shizzle about him having an affair with another adult - and Kerry Katona remains a bellend

[Emma Ponsford @featurefactory7]

When a conversation with your son sounds like a Dr Seuss recital.
Mum, don't be a neek.
What's a neek?
Like a geek, but a neek.
But what's wrong with 'geek'.
Only geeks say 'geek'.
So geeks are now neeks?
Yes mum...unless you're a geek.

[Emma Ponsford @featurefactory7]

Love a happy heart #LovefromWalkers .Luckily found by Henry - I'd have eaten it! @walkers_crisps

[Emma Ponsford @featurefactory7]

Whoever thought home-made sock puppets were the best way to celebrate World Book Day is a cockwombling arseballoon.

[Emma Ponsford @featurefactory7]

If this headline is to be believed, https://t.co/P3O2JlMu2R appear to have missed the best line of the story...

[Emma Ponsford @featurefactory7]

Victory for a seven-year-old is getting through a whole day at school without anyone knowing you're wearing two pairs of pants and socks. Apparently.

[Emma Ponsford @featurefactory7]

Quickest way to get a call centre to take you off hold is go to the toilet. The minute your pants are down they'll answer.