Fedi Chortani

[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

There's a difference between *actually* being a burden to someone due to social miscalibration / interrupting them in what they are doing & then just staying there & being obnoxious like an arrogant asshole despite all feedback

VERSUS

Just perpetually assuming your existence is inherently a burden at an existential level simply due to you not being able to fathom a reality where someone would rather meet someone they connect with OVER whatever they are currently doing, or seeing YOURSELF as someone who can *actually* provide objective value to people, or being able to become that person

The tweet was aimed at self-image specifically. Do you have "burden" tattoo'd onto your self-image? Many do. And if you do, those are some re-frames to remove it (realizing your essence/energy/value comes largely in your energetic signature, loving yourself to give that permission to others etc)

The entire point of the tweet is targeting the belief "i can't start conversations because I'll always burden someone".

The point is:

You never know.

And if you don't START conversations with people, then you are dependent on being fed connections. Apps, basic job boards, basic opportunities of which can be reached by the masses. And if masses know about it, and FIND it, can be sure it's cooked.

So what is the CORE re-frame to get over that hump & open up the possiblity for a more beautiful life filled with more beautiful connections in an interent culture (i use that term specifically because IRL it's fairly normal) that is heavily anti-social?

Replacing "i can't start a fun convo with someone because i'll burden them"

To "they might appear busy, but that doesn't mean they don't want more potential amazing connections in their life. Why not find out?"

And then IF they are actually busy, obviously just leaving like a normal person in a respectful way.

The point is not "just start annoyingly talking at people delusionally beleviing you have something of value to provide" (how those without reading comprehension read it)

it is "IF you can't forge connections to due your inherent feeling of internal LACK, work on it with re-frames, and then go & see"

[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

The "hardmode" that you feel within your own of your life (and moving it forward) isn't even real. It's simply the ghost-projection of all the old authority figures that told you that you can't do something, shouldn't do something, won't be able to do something

Really think about it. There's quite literally nobody stopping you. You could literally, right now, decide what you wanted to do, take steps to do it, and actually achieve it. There is NO limiter. Nobody waiting around the corner to slap your hand when you start to move.

Once you fundamentally understand that, you see the thing you're fighting is your own psyche. But that thing is ALSO you. Your "super wall stopping you" is literally your own mind. You must genuinely see that. And once you do, you can grab it's hand, and walk forward with it.

Your mind is trying to keep you safe. But your current definitions of what's "safe" for you have been artificially constructed/downloaded into your psyche as a kid from people with small/fragile mind/paradigms.

Reclaim your psyche by saying YES. Reclaim YOURSELF by proving to yourself you can do it & be okay. Break through the wall of fear. Blast through the other side of it, open your eyes & take a breath. "woah, it was always fake. it was always ME".

You are the authority of your own life. You make the rules for how you operate. They don't want you to win? They don't want you to grow? Fuck em'.

Not your problem

[Zherka @ZherkaOfficial]

You will regret suppressing your sexuality more than anything else you do in this one lifetime.

[Zherka @ZherkaOfficial]

One should always prefer to make mistakes of ambition rather than sloth.

—Napoleon

[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

Your core forever-war as an ideas guy

[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

u want to view doing "hard" / "social risky" things like an upward trend on a scatter plot. at first u miss a lot, but then u miss less & less until missing becomes a non-problem for you unless you shred all of ur momentum

People think the reason they can't do the stuff they wanna do is because there is some magical switch that needs to flip within them, and when it does, life will be on easy mode forever. NOT how it works

Doing all the shit u need to do that will actually change your life (aka taking the chances you need to take socially) - whether that be launching a biz, approaching a stranger, speaking publicly, creating something & putting it out there, etc) - is a process of "taking who you are now & what you have now & sludging it imperfectly forward through the shame & fear"

There is NO magical moment where it feels great or right. Ever. Only in hindsight. When you DO IT, it always feels like its not the right time & you are severely unequipped to do it NOW. But that's just how your brain works. Welcome to the club.

The difference though, is your RELATIONSHIP to that feeling. Everyone feels like you do. But some people do it anyway.

The people who get what they want do those things WHILE feeling the mega-shame, WHILE essentially nakedly shame-dragging their unequipped, unprepared retard selves into the arena while they are kicking, crying & screaming. It's like a parent plucking a kid crying on the grocery store off of the ground.

Being social is easy example of this. If you have NO MOMENTUM, and are "cold starting", talking to someone will be hard. U might not even do it the first day. or even the second day. But the third day, you're able to start ONE convo. Boom. You got your first dot on the graph. Then you have ANOTHER that day, and now ANOTHER. You went from zero for 2 days, to 3 in 1 day.

Then the next day you wake up & don't feel good. So you don't do one at all that day again. Then the day after that you feel shitty about yourself so you don't do any again. Then the day after that you feel even shittier so you don't do any again. But then the day after THAT you're like 'what the fuck is my problem', get PISSED, and then you do 15 that day.

People see this pattern reflect everywhere within their own lives & think they have a "problem". Nope. The only problem is your belief/idea that this IS a problem, when it isn't. This is human fucking nature. This is the human condition. Welcome to the fucking club.

Once you understand this & realize you have "everything you need, even right now" - you should have an "oh" moment. You should realize the only thing wrong about you was your idea that you ever had to be perfect in the first place.

This then shifts your psychological target from "perfection" (impossible) to just "shame-sludging something the fuck over the finish line in the dumbest way possible". Ur NEW goal isn't "perfect", it's "just fucking do it".

Then eventually you STRING enough of those together with imperfect patterns/time periods in between, and EVENTUALLY you magically end up right where u wanna fucking be. Is trippy as fuck.

Do you eventually get "better at doing stuff?". 100%, yes you do. But EVEN THEN, this "choppiness" NEVER goes away. It is life. Life is struggle. And that's what makes it so fucking beautiful

Shame-drag yourself to do it today in the shittiest way possible. Just do it, even if its messy/raw/shameful/bad.

just do it

[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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[Grant Lannin @retirementkeys]

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