Fejfar

Pokemon master, Hershey.

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Remember the episode where Spongebob starts crying to his grandma because he wants to be a kid again? Now after having been in the real world for a while I can 100% see how a breakdown like that is possible.

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

United Airlines has got to be the absolute worst company in the known universe

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Some people just shouldn't have licenses

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Why can't we retire at like 32 instead of 65

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

I haven't played musical chairs in about 2 decades, and the idea of it still stresses me the fuck out

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

"FIeLdS iSnT gOoD" ~Everyone

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Verizon owes me so much money it's not even funny

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Shoutout to my HS Spanish teachers for giving me some of the skills needed to successfully book a tattoo in Chile

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

@aGlitterTree If I was artistically gifted, I would start this business myself! I think it'd be hilarious

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

A tattoo studio where you just pick 3 random words out of a hat, and that's the tattoo you get.

Like: Apple, Moped, Goatee

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

People in DC will straight up run a red light just to be stuck at the next one a block away

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

It's mid August stop with this Halloween display shit @ all grocery stores

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Can you say "scouts honor" if you've never been a scout? Asking for a liar

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Thank god Rihanna invented umbrellas

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Difference between my gf and I scrolling through social media:

Her: "What do you think of this wedding setup?"

Me: "Look at this orangutan driving a golf cart"

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

An updated list of companies/entities that owe me money:

United Airlines
Alaskan Airlines
Verizon
DC DMV

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Great date idea: spend the day doing whatever billboards you pass tell you to do

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Why does all hold music have a saxophone

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

Imagine having a job where you could be wrong about literally everything all the time. Oh wait there is one it's called a weatherman

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

The person in front of me just ordered an iced coffee with TEN creamers. I'm not sure who to call to give this woman the help she needs

[Fejfar @Fejfar4]

If Jesus were alive today, he'd probably say the Latin equivalent of, "wtf is this dumbest fish symbol thing you all have on the back of your cars?"