Felipe Alexandre

Jersey City psychotherapist in Private Practice. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu hobbyist. Exploring topics in personal development, philosophy, lifestyles, and more. ☯

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

https://t.co/F3iMHN3rbb

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

On the art of building resilience, Mary Jo Peebles writes:

“It is only by finding one’s place in the world, and adjusting realistically and optimistically to that place, that one develops the resiliency needed to maintain relationships and commitments despite flaws and a lack of continual praise.”
— Beginnings: The Art and Science of Planning Psychotherapy

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

The “Columbo approach” to therapy...

Sometimes when I think it helpful for clients to consider something that they may not be so willing to sit with, I take the “Columbo approach.”

Columbo was a shabby little detective, low ego, threw out his theories in a roundabout way without grand interpretations. “Just something I noticed.” Take it or leave it.

Here's an example of this in action:

C: So what’s your point?
T: That’s the thing, I’m not sure there even is one. It’s just something that caught my attention. Last week you explained how you hope to build up more confidence, to do things on your own and not lose, as you called it, ‘your orientation.’ And this week, you’re requesting that I weigh in and let you know if you made the right call in your relationship. I’m not sure what to make of it.
C: You mean like, if I had more confidence, if my confidence did increase, then maybe I would not be asking you something like this?
T: I don’t know. Maybe. Seems like that’s something worth wondering about.

I first came across this “Columbo approach” in Mary Jo Peebles’ book “Beginnings: The Art and Science of Planning Psychotherapy.” More recently I heard it mentioned by Frank Yeomans on the Psychiatry and Psychotherapy Podcast with @DavidPuder.

Hat tip to @JonathanShedler for the book recommendation.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@GrantHBrennerMD My favorite was a therapist telling an email list that they had helped a client come up with a business idea and needed legal advice because said client has apparently not included them when the business was actually launched. Totally nuts.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@GrantHBrennerMD Beautiful quote. I am just starting to get into the book today. It's captivating from the start.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@DoctorPerin The Gottman Institute is a great money generating machine.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@FreudandBeyond @JonathanShedler He should star in it too.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@DrAnnieHickox @JRBneuropsiq Awesome. Thanks very much.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@DrAnnieHickox @JRBneuropsiq Is this chapter easily available somewhere?

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@DoctorPerin On the topic of suicide prevention...
https://t.co/lErJcqkkhP

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

https://t.co/F3iMHN3rbb

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

https://t.co/oTZVTf1pvd

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

You can't grow rice faster by tugging at the shoots.
— Old Taoist parable

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

Sigmund Freud called it the "narcissism of small differences," our tendency to fixate on minor, trivial differences with our neighboring communities to assert our own unique identity and superiority.

Freud first wrote about this in 1917. Some things don't change.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@DoctorPerin @VirgilMSW Lately, I've been wondering if human programming is a better name for them.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

“We sit in a sacred vault, completely isolated from the rest of the world and all other intrusions, accompanied only by those who have lost hope, who live with excruciating agony.”
— Jeffrey Kottler, On Becoming a Therapist

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

The definition of therapy has changed. What was once psychotherapy, which played out over the course of time, covering a host of variables that required a highly skilled and attuned clinician will become a skills-training cram session. Soon enough, it’ll likely shift to classroom-style formats for small groups.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@DoctorPerin Almost 5 years for me after spending nearly 15 years in sales and supply chain.

Side note: You'd be surprised how applicable the sales book Never Split the Difference by Christopher Voss is to the counseling profession. It's a very fun read, for anyone willing to check it out.

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@GrantHBrennerMD @JonathanShedler Yes, I agree. Although I think the ��agenda” is advertised if the clinician practices psychotherapy. It should be discussed before an agreement is made to work together. That way both parties are in agreement from the beginning.

[Jonathan Shedler @JonathanShedler]

As a therapist, your job is not to push an agenda on patients, create converts to your worldview, persuade, dissuade, approve, disapprove, affirm or disaffirm.

Your job is to help your patients know themselves more fully so they can become more whole and live life more freely—on their terms, not yours.

In other words: Psychotherapy is meant to expand the patient’s sense of personal agency. Not the therapist’s.

In your therapist role, it is also not your job to recruit supporters, disciples, fans, followers, groupies, or devotees. Those things are incompatible with doing psychotherapy.

The goal is for your patients to get well—then finish with you and go on to live their lives.

It’s not about us. It’s never about us. It’s about the patient.

The therapist’s needs are met through the fee and protected via the therapy frame. The rest must be 💯 about the patient

When that’s understood, everything changes.

“We refuse most emphatically to turn a patient who puts himself into our hands in search of help into private property, to decide his fate for him, to force our own ideals upon him, and with the pride of a Creator to form him in our own image and see that it is good.”
—S. Freud

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@DoctorPerin

[Felipe Alexandre @felipeXaccount]

@DoctorPerin There is a comfort that comes from not adhering to the etiquettes of polite society. The brutality is just an added benefit.