Moby Feldman

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

White guys when Tyler Childers refuses to perform Feathered Indians

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Kalshi Jenner is over 30 and people are still calling him "Timmy," a thought.

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Alexi "TPUSMNT" Lalas is genuinely the closest living remnant of Charlie Kirk.

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

I call Arsenal Cuck FC from now on.

Happiest coming from the corner.

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Will blueberries make my semen taste good too? That's all I had in the fridge.

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Not a carpenter but you could call me a stud finder

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Trans woman with a small unit: shrimp on the Barbie

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Take me on a clit I'd like to go someday.

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

I don't play video games but I'll camp in her bush for a fortnight.

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Call me Richard Branson cuz imma fly virgin

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

I want you on top of me right now, so to speak.

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Greeting my grandma's friend at the nursing home: well who let you out of heaven, beautiful?

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Telling her, "keep this up and you might make the Close Friends story," after sex.

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Sometimes I'm too blasé with the butter knife

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Do you think I'm this swag in every universe?

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Gonna sext someone in the airbuds dms.

[Moby Feldman @felmob]

Going to karaoke and singing strange fruit