The Femme Fatalities

comediennes, shoppers, eaters, cookers, farters,cat women,and weirdos. Just 2 awkward bitches looking for their next knight in shining tin foil.

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

There's a million reasons that I should give you up, but the heart wants what it wants 🎶💕

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

I cannot wait for the day when I no longer have to study daily to make it in life.

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

I don't think I could ever live somewhere where I couldn't see the stars on a clear night. #noway #beautiful #amazing 🌠⭐️🌌

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

Not really feeling like facing the day. Supposedly I have to though. 😒 #Monday

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

I worked out today for like the first time in a month. I'll probably try it again next month. #getfit #ordont

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

I'm so hungry, but I'm extremely tired....but I'm hungry. #food #bed #thestruggle

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

I don't know about you guys, but I get paid to pin! #pinterest #whatismyjob 💁

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

Are there really any guys who still open doors, take a girl to dinner, and serenade her with cute love songs? If so #applyhere

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

Does anyone else wake up sobbing from dreams they were actually crying in? I seem to do this kind of a lot...is that normal?

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

I'm just over farmer's tans. If you can't take your shirt off, then wear a long sleeve. #sorry #butplease

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

And corn mazes, apple cider, and haunted houses! #ok #excited #FallTimeIsTheBestTime

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

It was getting dark around 8:30....that means fall is coming. That means tailgating, sweaters, football, fireball, oh yea and football 😍🏈

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

Hot guy texts for the first time in forever to see if I know where he can get weed....I don't even smoke #thanks 😒

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

I'm on a food hangover.

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

Put ya nasty ass tongue back in your mouth. #skanky #picture

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

Sorry I'd rather hang out at my house than at Taco Bell. #damn #dontgetyourtacoinawad #tacotastic

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

Cheers to stomach cramps! #planb 🍻

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

You know I could probably be skinny if I gave up booze, but then it's like... No. I'd rather be fat.

[The Femme Fatalities @femmefatalities]

Mosquitos are loving me this year.