Francis Cottam

Novelist responsible as F.G. Cottam for 14 full-length paranormal thrillers, the best (and worst) of which is open to debate. Sandgrounder.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

The daughter wanted a Walkman. Now she's got one. When buying someone you love a token gift can make your day. Just the ageing process, I suppose.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

@archer_rs He's turned it into Liberace's dressing room during a Las Vegas residency.

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

"I said it's understandable that Nigel Farage decided not to go on the Laura Kuenssberg show. What did I say Roy?"
"You said he's a cowardly little shit who only answers to his billionaire paymasters"
#BBCLauraK

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

@daveainsworth63 You're right. Possibly because there were 29 Titanic survivors advising on the former.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

25% of the way through two novels. A hard-boiled cop's daughter is abducted by a drugs gang. Or a sensitive young English woman encounters Civil War phantoms in North Carolina. Which to complete first? Decisions.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

Told the daughter as she approached her 18th birthday that I was going to have to stop calling her Sausage. She's tall, slender and vegan. 'If you called me anything else, I'd think you were mad at me.' So at 20, the Sausage she remains.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

If you like British Film, check out Gerard Johnson. He's doing the best UK based stuff I've seen since The Long Good Friday (and yes, I'm that old.)

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

'Men are disinclined to cherish.' A line that came to me during the novel I'm currently writing. Feel free to disagree.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

@YNWAlfcnews_ Without doubt.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

The daughter says she's loving her new CD player. Wasn't cheap, but this makes me happier than I can say. Pathetic old man? Probably. Don't care, frankly.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

Encounter with two social services people today concerned I might be suicidal. I'm not. Each left with a signed copy of one my novels. Left very happy. Funny old game, life.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

'Reply with a GIF.' What if you don't know what a GIF is? Presumably it's an acronym? But for what? Oh, who cares.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

Delivered the daughter a CD player yesterday. Brand new, but she likes old tech. Then Hollister. Then Waterstones. Well, I've only got the one daughter.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

@ColeFusionHQ The General. A group of us used to play the globally territorial board game Risk. He was so hopeless he just had to be known as that - and still is, 30-odd years later.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

Met the daughter yesterday to buy her some music at HMV. Had such anxiety, felt moved to explain and apologise. She was very understanding and gracious.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

Remarked to the daughter, who has autism, that although she doesn't love me, I will always love her. Not true! She responded. Have never felt more elated in my life.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

Have bought the daughter a telescope. 'Field of vision is infinite,' was the line that sold me. What more could you offer a 20-year-old young woman? A visit to Hollister, she would say. And Waterstones. And Lush...

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

@MbarkCherguia She smoked a lot.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

This nonsense about what war correspondents are wearing. Did anyone bother about what Lee Miller wore? Martha Gellhorn? Ernest Hemingway? Robert Capa? Some people just have too little to do and way too much keyboard time.

[Francis Cottam @fgcottam]

Writing a novel. People who don't do this probably think it a straightforward process involving plotting and word-count. Well, no. Not when the characters inhabit your mind.