Fahad

22. making stuff — dropout, employed — life, freedom, work, love.

Building @cubepals

[Fahad @fhad_________]

There are things you don't fully understand the value of until they're gone. Not necessarily because you failed to appreciate them while they were there, but because you didn't know what to do with them. You didn't know how to hold them, how to care for them, or how to keep yourself from destroying something that was good to you.
I learned a great deal from someone who was once part of my life. And perhaps what hurts the most is realizing that I never quite learned how to give back even a fraction of what I was given.
I tried forgetting, replacing, turning everything upside down, convincing myself that life moves forward and eventually everything becomes a memory. And all of that is true. Life does move forward. But some things don't disappear simply because you've decided.
Even now, there are mornings when I wake up and cry. And the strange thing is, I don't entirely know why. I don't need anyone to come back. I don't believe I'm incomplete without them. I genuinely believe the ending was right, perhaps even the best possible outcome for both of us. And yet, there's something that still lives in my chest, something I haven't figured out what to do with.
I was young, and I hated myself. I hated myself enough that I couldn't believe I deserved the good things that happened to me. When someone treated me with tenderness, I became afraid. Afraid of losing it, afraid they'd eventually discover I wasn't the person they thought I was. And at the same time, I was greedy. I wanted certainty, permanence, reassurance. I wanted someone to stay, even when I didn't know how to treat them well enough to make staying something they would want.
It's remarkable how contradictory a person can be. You fear losing someone and behave in ways that push them away. You love someone and hurt them. You desperately want tenderness, yet find yourself rejecting it. None of that is an excuse. Being young, being afraid, hating yourself. These things might explain your behavior, but they don't erase its consequences for other people.
Perhaps the hardest part of regret isn't wishing you could go back and change the past. It's becoming the person you should have been, long after the opportunity to be that person has passed.
And I think that's what I've been experiencing lately.
This past year has changed me in ways I never expected. I have a job now, responsibilities, things I build that other people depend on. I've started putting myself out there more, sharing my work, discussing ideas, allowing myself to be opinionated and occasionally ridiculous. I've become more comfortable with who I am, more positive, and perhaps most importantly, kinder to myself.
I've also discovered that I'm lonely, which is something I never expected to admit. For most of my life, I considered myself someone who could be alone indefinitely. I enjoyed my own company and rarely felt the need for anyone else. But loneliness found its way to me, too. Not as some overwhelming sadness, but as a quiet reminder that no matter how independent you become, you're still human. You still want to be heard, understood, and occasionally share your life with someone.
Something else has changed. I've started noticing people. My family, my colleagues, the small kindnesses that happen throughout an ordinary day. Even goodbyes have started to mean more. When someone leaves your daily life, there's a strange mixture of happiness for them and sadness that they won't be part of your ordinary days anymore.
I've started apologizing more, paying closer attention to my words, trying to understand people before judging them. And every time I apologize, a part of me remembers an apology I never managed to give with the sincerity and understanding it deserved. Not because it would bring anything back, but because I wish I could have offered that much maturity when it mattered.
I used to imagine growing up as some dramatic transformation. That one morning I'd wake up confident, successful, certain of my direction, and completely different from the person I used to be. But change doesn't work that way. From a distance, I still feel like the same person. Yet when I look closely at how I thought a year ago and how I think today, I realize something fundamental has changed.
Sometimes I wonder whether I've actually moved on from the past, or simply learned how to live alongside it. Perhaps moving on means acknowledging that something was beautiful, that you made mistakes, and that it ended, without trying to change any of those truths.
I don't write any of this to present myself as someone who learned his lesson and emerged a better man. I don't even know if I'm better. And I certainly don't want to turn the pain I caused someone else into some beautiful story about my personal development. There was a real person on the other side of my immaturity, someone with feelings and a life beyond whatever role they played in mine. I can appreciate what the experience taught me without pretending its consequences were necessary or deserved.
I think that's something I've finally started to understand. Even regret can become selfish if you're not paying attention. Sometimes we become so absorbed in how terrible we feel about what we've done that we forget the person who actually had to live with it. I don't want my remorse to become another demand for someone's attention, forgiveness, or understanding. They don't owe me any of those things, and that's all right.
For years, whenever I came across an old conversation or a reminder of the past, my instinct was to erase it. Delete it, close the door, and move forward, as though forgetting were a decision I could make rather than something that might happen naturally with time.
Today, for once, I wanted to leave something behind. Not because I expect anything to come from it, and certainly not because I want to reopen an old door. I just wanted to give these thoughts a place outside my head.
I don't have a conclusion, and I guess that's appropriate. I'm still discovering who I am, still making mistakes, still learning how to appreciate the people around me, and still trying to forgive the person I used to be.
Maybe some feelings don't need to be solved. Maybe you can be grateful and heartbroken, believe an ending was right and still mourn it, forgive yourself and still wish you'd never hurt someone.
Maybe growing up is simply learning to carry all of that without letting it stop you from living.
I suppose I just needed somewhere to say what's in my chest, and leave it to the wind.

[nader dabit @dabit3]

Turns out human slop was 1,000x worse than AI slop.

[Fahad @fhad_________]

I’ve been preaching this to so many,,,

people aren’t sitting there waiting for you to fumble. Most people want you to do well. And it’s weird how hard that is to believe when you’re the one putting yourself out there.

Think about yourself for a second. When someone in front of you gets nervous, messes up their words, or tries something that doesn’t land, do you immediately want them to fail? Or do you give them a second chance? A third? You want them to get there. You give them room to be human.

So why is it so hard to believe someone would give you that same room?

We walk into things already defending ourselves against a judgment nobody has even made yet. Already embarrassed. Already explaining why it probably won’t work.

And then what if you do fumble? Think about how many people you’ve watched mess up and still wanted to see win. You didn’t stop believing in them over one awkward moment. You just hoped they’d try again.

You’re allowed to believe people would do the same for you.

[Lessons @onlypreneurs]

In a weird way, everybody is rooting for you. When you go to a job interview, the interviewer wants you to be amazing so they don’t have to look anymore. when you go on a date, the person wants to have an amazing date with you. If you make a piece of content, people want to see amazing pieces of content and they have no problem if it’s yours.

the instant you get into the mindset that people want you to do well, your entire world gets better. And you’ll be shocked to know this pattern keeps repeating in different areas of life.

[Fahad @fhad_________]

@izadoesdev i don’t feel ready😩

[Fahad @fhad_________]

i’ve been wishing they’d make this color permanent since last year 😭

@github 🙏🏻

[Thariq @trq212]

very weird thing happening rn

technical people are sad, they think their skills are now useless

non-technical people are desperately wishing they were more technical so they could use agents better

[Fahad @fhad_________]

life, freedom, work, love

[Fahad @fhad_________]

just fall in love with the game ;)

[Fahad @fhad_________]

Opt out

[Fahad @fhad_________]

@QafiyahX @0xSm0ky @forbiddenkeygen @MohannadNaj @bitbyte_log @AlkhazrajyMB @_0xFa @khengari77 @ivbme @ysralot يا رهيبين أنتم، فالكم التوفيق 🤍

[Theo - t3.gg @theo]

Every time someone says "ai can't write good code", I know that they can't write good code.

[Cubepals @cubepals]

Cubepals is live on Product Hunt today 🟩

Minecraft servers your friends join with an address. It sleeps when nobody plays and wakes up when someone joins.

We’d love to hear what you think:
https://t.co/fX3OHwwtIc

[Fahad @fhad_________]

@boatdotdev yes sir

[Fahad @fhad_________]

launched on product hunt today. the cold emails started within hours.

this one's subject line was "one thing". i had no choice

[Fahad @fhad_________]

i don't regret a second of it :)

[Fahad @fhad_________]

the hardest part wasn’t the servers. minecraft gives up after 30 seconds of silence, and a sleeping server needs about 40 to boot. so the edge holds the login and replays it once the server is up. the player just sees the game joining.

code is open if anyone wants to see how: https://t.co/82eoGSIyXk

[Fahad @fhad_________]

4 weeks ago I started building cubepals, alone.

minecraft servers your friends join with an address. it sleeps when nobody plays and wakes up when someone joins. nobody has to start it first.

this is what a sleeping server looks like from inside the game 🧵

[Fahad @fhad_________]

the first stranger found it through chatgpt. 3 minutes 17 seconds from landing on the site to standing in his own world, no help.

he played 2 hours. the next day his friend came back on his own and woke the server just by joining.

[Cubepals @cubepals]

1v1 your friend 🗡️

https://t.co/hmjHtg0IYa
1.8 combat, set kit. Join from any Java version and type /duel join
https://t.co/LHIPQrpF6c

#Minecraft #Duels