Fidgety Bear

Should have been a bear 🐻 ❤️ Tweeting about life with ADHD •4 kids - #autistic #ADHD
•LongCovid •Narcissistic parent survivor (and I fidget! 🤣) #Hopeful🌈

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

Late-diagnosed ADHD. Have had a different twitter account for a long time. There was so much I wanted to tweet but wasn't brave enough. I mask my traits daily. I created this account so I can finally be part of the community and interact with less fear. 🦸‍♀️ I'll get there.

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@lauramccutcheon Hi Laura,

I just saw your message. Hopefully it's not too late to get in touch. My Mum would be really interested to talk to you. It was her father. I'll pass your number on to her if that's OK.

Thanks

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@DrDoyleSays @NeuroRebel This is true of my narcissistic father. We are estranged. Life is better for me. Now he has cancer. He tells everyone he doesn't know where he went wrong. My brother asked him 'Did you continue when she asked you to stop?' His answer 'I suppose so but where did I go wrong?'

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@dohville @Baddiel So true. My grandfather spoke of his problems, as a boy, finding housing and seeing these signs. His father was Irish. Sadly his father died when he was young but this then stopped being a barrier. Did @dianeabbot forget about the holocaust too?

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@ask_aubry 🤢

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@blkgirllostkeys Sorry this happened 😔. Get where you're coming from 💯

Following my dx, I politely banned advice from family starting with:
"Can't you just..."
"Why don't you..."
"Try to..."
So much was centered on using their approach. Understanding is key. Really appreciate your posts 😊

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@ask_aubry Or maybe wearing black lets your natural beauty speak for itself. He is toxic ☠️

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@TryingSober91 Huge achievement! Stopped drinking due to medication. Loved a drink and thought it 'helped'. Don't miss it at all now (335 days). Life is better. Got an app to track the benefits. The phrase 'giving up' can feel a loss but SO much is gained. Positive vibes...you can do this! 🫂😊

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@ask_aubry 2/2 so if they changed recently it may be worth persevering and encouraging them to seek help. Perhaps if they could/would work, the wage could go towards childcare so they are still part of the care. That said - baby is top priority right now. Really hope it gets better 🙏❤️

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@ask_aubry 1/1 Alternative baby care is immediate priority. Get grandparents help - daycare will be an additional cost so could do part-time. Sounds like the partner needs help (detached/depressed/ executive disfunction?). There was a reason they got together in the first place...

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@Matthew_Hodson

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@TryingSober91 Wishing you the very best. You can do this. Sounds like she is worth the effort 💯 ❤️ and that you are too!!!

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@sarah_j_d_34 Absolutely! I was that teenager (ADHD though). It was so tough. Now, I have an autistic/ADHD son and I'm just trying my best to let him know that he is unconditionally loved at home. Wish we could create a perfect space for them to exist but, for now, I'm fighting on his behalf.

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@Success_life2 @wiseconnector 100% A good indication is when you are the one offering all the chances and they don't try to change. Sadly, my narcissistic father ran out of chances. No child should have to try so hard. As an adult, I was able to see enough is enough and cut the cord. Hard but necessary.

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@neuroteachers I sometimes create a fictional scenario which means I have to do it in a set time. (Sounds weird, I know). Hate packing/unpacking so will imagine the house will blow up in an hour and I have 60 mins to pack and get out. Works for me and defintely gets the dopamine buzzing 🤪

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@Jeangreyrising 2/2 I tried so hard to adapt and fit into the NT world. I now have courage to ask others to adapt in return. The balance is better and I have a lot less burnout. I can talk about how I see things and now know it isn't 'wrong'... just different... and just as valuable 😊

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@Jeangreyrising 1/2 I hated so much about myself. I assumed I was always the 'wrong' factor in bad situations. Was diagnosed as ADHD at 39. The journey has given me understanding. Still don't love everything about myself but live with a lot less shame and much more pride.

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@wiseconnector That I had ADHD. Life makes sense now. Hope we get better at identifying it in girls as so many of us get missed. I survived but now I'm learning to be kind to myself. So be kind to yourself... you may be doing a lot better than you think! 😊

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@NoNonsenseND 🤚 💯

[Fidgety Bear @fidgetybear]

@Jo_Frost Perhaps you too could "Learn the value of expressing opinions without resorting to disrespect" and it may "lead to healing". Asking the ND community "who are you trying to fool?" hurt. Ignoring those trying to engage with you is disrespectful. Please listen to your own advice!