Lahsiv

Something we couldn't say out loud, so write!

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

I hate how well spoken I am in my mind and how badly spoken I am out loud

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

अगर आप निकम्मे हैं तो एक मजहबी औरत से शादी कर ले ताकि वह घुर्बत को इम्तिहान समझे और आपको मजाज़ी ख़ुदा

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

when they say i'm a good person. But i remember, all the times i made fun of people just because i wanted to fit in

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

It hurts, because for the first time, we can finally see it clearly. And by the time we understand what a moment was giving us. It is no longer asking us to stay.

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

The mind has a cruel habit. It explains things after they are over. You find the right words when the argument has already ended. You understand why someone was distant after they have left your life. You see how much a friend carried you only when you stop talking?

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

The moment happens first. The meaning comes later. We understand our parents when we become older. We understand home after we leave it. We understand love when we know what it feels like to lose it. So, perhaps the past does not hurt because it was better.

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

To her granddaughter, she was still Nani the home she could return to, the voice that softened difficult days, the hands that carried love without ever asking for anything in return.

Maybe heaven chose an auspicious day.

But the heart rarely agrees with the calendar.

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

This Monday of Saawan began with devotion.

She had kept a fast, and for a little while, it felt as though life had chosen kindness. We shared a glass of juice, and I watched her small smile, but real.

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

It does not count years. It does not measure blessings. It only measures absence. To the world, she was eighty three.

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

And sometimes, love is nothing more than standing close enough to someone's sorrow, even when you cannot lessen it.

[Lahsiv @finallyuhere]

In that moment, fire did what time eventually does it turned a lifetime of memories into smoke, rising quietly toward the same sky under which a granddaughter whispered her final goodbye.

Some losses cannot be mended.

They can only be witnessed.