🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀

⚾👁️🦀 Pretty good pitcher for the @blaseballcrabs 🦀👁️⚾

'One of Blaseball's all-time greats' - Finn James

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

Looks like someone finally got my biography out there! I'm not even sure how they found all of this out, but it's pretty cool to be recognized!
https://t.co/IQnjhznjOY

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

@BlaseballCrabs Wait wait Baltimore and Canada are different places? Why didn't anyone tell me sooner? I thought it was just two names for the same country, like Holland and the Netherlands. I think I need some time to process this...

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

I look away from my phone for like 30 seconds and suddenly we're in the league again? Absolutely WILD, but hey, that's blaseball baby!

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

Oh I'm Just A Sweet and Innocent Blaseball Crab Boy who Pays His Taxes and should be Held under No Such Scrutiny

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

The name of this court case strongly implies that Parker isn't the third Parker MacMillan, but rather that his last name is MacMillan III.
That explains a lot, honestly.

[BLASEBALL NEWS NETWORK @BlaseballNews]

BREAKING NEWS:

More information on the upcoming Trial has been released!

Nov. 9th, 2020.

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

I feel as though a very fine slide has distended, separating my consciousness from my perception.
The slide is, at times, transparent, nearly invisible. I can interpret the world with no problem.
When it is not as such though... The things I am shown are not discussed lightly.

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

The Crabs' win/loss record following ascension may be what some experts refer to as "dogshit" but in our defence, we can't see who we're playing against either.

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

@BlaseballCrabs I would like to apply! My skills include Blaseball, throwing, and throwing Blaseballs

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

@AdalbertoTosser I don't know about you, but that peanut fight took a lot out of me. We'll just have to fail upwards like only the Crabs can!

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

I swear, this whole reliance on physical appearance for identification has to stop. Just have auras! Or nametags!

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

WAIT A MINUTE! If Nagomi, Sutton, and Monty are down there, who came up with us?

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

@KC_BreathMints It's the only acceptable option, really

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

@FinnJamesBC That is true... I could never wrap my head around the whole "outfielders" concept anyways! Who knows, maybe we can get a whole Finn James team going!

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

Wait... There's only 13 of us up here... THERE'S NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE TO PLAY BLASEBALL!!!
Other teams, please ascend. Preferably now. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

Ascension feels weird... Thought I'd be taller...

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

I came for Crabs Bad, but I'm overjoyed to have played a part, however small in Crabs Good. I don't know what the future holds, but it's been a joy and an honour.

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

I didn't join the Crabs to win. I didn't join them to pitch either, but here we are.

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

In spite of that, or possibly just through spite alone, we changed. We grew and while we may not have been everyone's pick to win overall, we definitely earned Most Improved, and I couldn't be prouder.

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

It's okay that I missed what happened yesterday. It sucks that I missed all the action, but it's supposed to be a gorgeous full moon tonight, so I've still got that to look forward to.

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

Long story short, really looking forward to this whole ascension thing. Might need to get out of town for a little while.

[🦀⚾F I N N👁️J A M E S⚾🦀 @FinnBc]

Poor form on my part to space out completely during the most important games of my career, but in my defence, I got distracted thinking I left the oven on at home, only then I remembered there's no oven on the Crabitat mound, so it wasn't MY home, so where did I leave an oven on?