Firdi

Favourite foods: Pollen and gum

[Firdi @Firdflu]

@Firdflu 7pm tonight at Manning Bar at Sydney Uni

[Firdi @Firdflu]

@BenRussells Hey hey it's Saturday

[Firdi @Firdflu]

How come no one says "Day for it" before committing fraud. Then again being happy purely because it's sunny is kind of fraud

[Firdi @Firdflu]

One of the most incredible moments in my life. @PeterTheJones found a burnt cd of @ReelBigFish, Cheer Up, in his hoodie & gave it to me. It's rare that u receive receive gift that makes u do whats written on it. @joegreencomedy
@bokla Show respect to old burnt CDs & 90s ska bands

[Firdi @Firdflu]

Queen Elizabeth sitting in her room, a single tear shedding as she holds the photo frame close to her heart and screams "X gon give it to ya!"
#RoyalFamily #QueenElizabeth #PrincePhillip #dmx

[Firdi @Firdflu]

@normanswan covfefe?

[Firdi @Firdflu]

The irony of Greta Thunberg's refusal of air travel is that her name does sound like a type of World War 2 plane.

[Firdi @Firdflu]

Nowadays when people talk about cheese, they're referring to gourmet shit like brie, blue and Camembert. What happened to the classics like sliced, grated and dick

[Firdi @Firdflu]

Looking for a Eric Andre ticket https://t.co/NKwTjHeZgi

[Firdi @Firdflu]

I would like to officially commend the man on the tram yesterday, eating a full unsliced loaf of sour dough from a paper bag, in a fitted suit. I would also like to officially condemn him.

[Firdi @Firdflu]

@CinemaVerite @coopersinncom @CoopersInn Thanks for coming legend

[Firdi @Firdflu]

Running a paid Masterclass in something that you've been doing for just over a year is like calling yourself a survivalist because you once did a shit at a rural petrol station. I need to unsubscribe to a lot of emails

[Firdi @Firdflu]

Anyone wondering what's going on at the Schick office?

[Firdi @Firdflu]

@TheB52s https://t.co/TLYdykq71v

[Firdi @Firdflu]

@David_M_Green @SMicallefOnline Ive always gone into job interviews regretting not reenacting the original sketch

[Firdi @Firdflu]

"Of course the royals are archaic figureheads and a waste of resources who have no relevant place in a progressive society, but I only spent 6 hours coming up with these 3 tweets, which can only help my online presence"

[Firdi @Firdflu]

@localfunnyman Ginuwine's real name is Elgin Lumpkin, there's no way he's actually good at rooting

[Firdi @Firdflu]

Sometimes I think rappers just make up words so they can do a rhyme

[Firdi @Firdflu]

When I'm asked how I identify sexually, I always say I choose the hat in Monopoly

[Firdi @Firdflu]

My twitter may have been hacked. If Ive recently asked to contact me for sex, then you know everything is back to normal now