Paige Wakefield

cunning linguist 🏳️‍🌈

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

Explaining a fountain to a 3rd world country must be weird. 'Yeah we just shoot clean water into the air and throw our extra money into it'.

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

Why does my cactus look like Mr. Krabs

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

I am at a walk in clinic for a chest cold. I’m going to see low long it takes before this doctor asks for the first day of my last per- oh it already happened.

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

I wanna do mushrooms with Mayim Bialik

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

On a scale from 1 to Martha May Whovier how horny are you

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

When are we as a society going to accept that all mascaras are the same. “This one lengthens, this one thickens” it’s all goop grow up

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

Remembering the time when the iPad just came out and my first thought was that it was a high tech menstrual product

[bobby cappucino @bobbycappucino]

me and the leafs every year

[Angelo Guisado @VoltaireLaFlare]

wearing a lil outfit to work and theres literally no one in the office

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

Me: let’s go on another trip
My bank account:

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

Overheard at a festival: I’m not physically craving a cigarette, but I am thinking about it

[Skyler Higley @skyler_higley]

All we gotta do is tell conservatives that the climate is transitioning and they’ll try to stop it

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

It’s not a chihuahua unless it comes from the Chihuahua region of Mexico. Otherwise it’s just a sparkling rat.

[Dr Eleanor Janega @GoingMedieval]

"I hope this email finds you well".
How the email finds me:

[Paige Wakefield @fire2sweet]

Can literally anyone calm down and shut the fuck up for like one second

[maha @mahaaaay]

calling my lawyers to see if i can sue my dad for making me a leafs fan

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

the coronation AND the Kentucky derby were today. huge day for people who love silly little hats

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

life is about trying the caesar salad at as many places as possible