nika

part-time kazoo god of the contiguous united states, full-time arbiter of moral truths.

[nika @firstdilf]

@HOWDYBlTCH his name is Ralph after his greedy bastard father also named Ralph

[nika @firstdilf]

been there

[𝓘𝓒𝓔 ❄︎ @be_like_ice]

Went to Costco for milk. This happened.

[nika @firstdilf]

@fkaemu it’s the noise that gets me but to be fair im generally a pussy… ppl who have witnessed me pop a bottle can testify

[nika @firstdilf]

@fkaemu they will play music for you and if u let them choose it you can spend the whole time thinking about how much the music sucks and then you’ll be distracted from the MRI itself and they give u something to squeeze to distract yourself

[nika @firstdilf]

for lent I am giving up being the bigger person

[nika @firstdilf]

im accountabilitymogging backwards and sideways

[nika @firstdilf]

Get accountability mogged, bitch

[nika @firstdilf]

I meant the walls have eyes. but i guess the eyes have walls too. and garage doors

[nika @firstdilf]

the eyes have walls but im still getting tiktoks that say “guys where can i find more alt gym wear ??”

[girth brooks @HOWDYBlTCH]

Being shown patience love and understanding through even my most difficult behavior has unfortunately made me immortal im never dying

[nika @firstdilf]

who up feeling a little compressed in their spine

[nika @firstdilf]

I think gravity boots would heal me

[nika @firstdilf]

going from 499 tabs to 480 tabs feels like life after your bonus. I could buy ANYTHING. there are no limitations!! I’m FREE

[leizi @kissinguuuuu]

A woman under prolonged stress will inevitably start trying to cast spells/use pagan magic

[nika @firstdilf]

male instacart shopper claiming 100% of the items I ordered AND their substitutes are out of stock

[nika @firstdilf]

@ryan_offline feeling hashtag influenced

[nika @firstdilf]

This tweet is about Ken Paxton

[nika @firstdilf]

they need to start making petite tops for men im sick of seeing untucked polos touching knees

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

please let him do this #pleaselethimdothis