F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa

This may be my F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶ second rodeo, but I'm still amazed and in awe daily. #WAHD. Resident laundry folder. Pancake level: Semi-pro. 🇨🇦🎌

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

My most-watched (non-Xmas) movies.

Before Kids:
1. Goodfellas
2. Shawshank Redemption
3. Silence of the Lambs
4. Die Hard*
5. The Empire Strikes Back

Now:
1. Toy Story
2. Toy Story 2
3. Toy Story 3
4. Toy Story 4
5. Goodfellas

*Yes, it's ALSO a Christmas movie.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

https://t.co/VGdAsuRgez

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@jadeys1986 Ooh, the ever-offensive ❤️!

I reckon @BishopChalloner should fuck off.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@LilLunaKristyn
It would great if you disabled that unclosable video on your website. Your site is unreadable on mobile.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

How often do I wear a hat?

Rushed out of the house today to pick up 3yo from school. First words out of his mouth:

"Daddy, where's your hat?"

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@DanRather @BrentToderian My kids like wearing masks. I reckon most kids do.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@writer_boyTM Yup.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

My 5yo loves Chucky, zombies, skeletons, Ghostface from Scream, etc., but we had to turn off Home Alone today because he found it too scary.
#ChristmasMovies
#chucky

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@SnooksC @ColorfulFiction My 5yo would looooove these!

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

Sometimes I wish I posted my kid online. Cuz this 2yo with a new haircut singing along to Etta James is cute af.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@genericmum

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

Sports Day at kindergarten today. Days like these always make me feel Extra Dad. 🥲😎

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

What kind of scam is this? 😂
A 43-page book that is "Book 1 of 4" in a series? Put all 4 books together in one binding and you'd STILL have a short book.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@LouBonomi @my_hive_away @life_expanding If I only had the courage, time, and cold-heartedness to make an alt account for all those tweets I deleted before posting.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@notmuchofahw I admire her resolve. And her meta grasp of the Gruffalo.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@MetteAngerhofer @momtransparent1

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@JaeMargal That all depends on which ex.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

@saltymamas If he's like me last vacation, he'll finally get around to hanging the flat-screen on the wall.

[F̶i̶r̶s̶t̶2ndTimePapa @firsttimepapa]

My wife folded laundry yesterday. She does so once or twice a year, and I'm pretty sure it's just to remind me why I've asked her not to.